Now Reading: Why I Sometimes Prefer To Be Out All Day w/ My Autistic Son

Why I Sometimes Prefer To Be Out All Day w/ My Autistic Son

It’s 4:01pm on Sunday. Wifey has plans this evening. She just left. She probably won’t be home til after 9. 
So the king & I are home alone. He’s holding his breath like crazy which sounds like fingernails on a blackboard to me. 
And I’m staring at 5 hours til he goes to sleep with nothing on the agenda. 
And that scares the sh-t out of me.  
He’s fine being at home it seems.  He might even prefer it. But there will inevitably be a few rough moments. 
So, I’m almost tempted to take the king to the supermarket right now. We don’t need anything (except bacon)  🙂
But I just need to shake up the day a little & break things up a bit. 
Lately I am so much better when we have plans all day long…even on the extremely rough days with his majesty.  
I thought of this a few weeks back when we drove out to the NJ shore on a Sunday afternoon. 
It took us an hour and a half to get there and over 2 hours to get home and all told we were probably on the beach for less than 4 hours. 
On paper that makes no sense. And years back I would resist these things cuz I was scared of a Kyle meltdown. 
But recently I’ve learned that 12 rough hours at home is worse than 12 rough hours out of the house.  At least for me. 
I know what you’re thinking.  It’s all about you again… And… Maybe he wouldn’t be as rough at home vs on the beach. 
Maybe you’re right. But wifey and I like the beach. And we don’t ever want to become prisoners in our own home because the king would rather stay home. 
I’ve written before how we make it a point to bring Kyle everywhere sometimes whether he likes it or not. 
And we are gonna continue to do that for as long as he and/ or society will allow. 
But getting back to that beach outing…
Kyle usually likes the beach a lot. 
And even on his roughest/ worst days Kyle will always have a few shining / happy moments. 
So on a rough day going to the beach breaks things up a bit. I think in my brain (yes it’s all about me) 🙂 a rough car ride there, some rough moments on the beach, and a rough car ride back breaks the day into more manageable rough chunks rather than 12 rough hours straight at home. 
And during those easy going moments I need to pick my head up and realize I’m on the beach and staring at the glorious Atlantic Ocean. 
Any way I’m babbling. I hope this make sense and that some of you can relate. 
Anyway, time to break up this day. I gotta get his shoes on. The supermarket awaits. I’m waiting for wifey to text me a list. 
Oh wait, what’s this?  He just brought me to the bathtub and indicated that he wants a bath…
“Good communicating buddy!”
Ok, first bath, then supermarket. 

Written by

Frank Campagna

I’m a 48 year old neurotypical dad with a 14 year old son with severe, non-verbal autism & epilepsy. I created this blog to rant about autism & epilepsy while celebrating my son who I affectionately call “the king” :-).

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9 People Replies to “Why I Sometimes Prefer To Be Out All Day w/ My Autistic Son”

  1. Good reasoning! My hubby likes to take the boy out of the house, too. I'm the one who prefers to stay in. Hope you had some good times with your son along with the rough ones!

  2. Yep! Me too. The only difference is that my kid INSISTS on going out and about if it is not dark outside and the few attempts I make to stay at home make us both go nuts! So I have a number of places I keep in mind for outings when there is unscheduled time.

  3. Same thing with mine with severe autism there was a time when he had some breath holding spells that turned into seizures I felt that same way in fact I was scared so scared I started taking meds because I was so scared and I too felt better outside of the house it helped me be calm for my son. The meds made things worse. I have not seen any more breath holding spells here. Have not checked into neurologist for epilepsy diagnosis. But I have been there. Autism nonverbal and epilepsy and breath holding spells is enough to make any one feel like you. Good for you to get out of house so that you may take care of him better.

  4. lol it is all about you…well it is AUTISM DADDY…not all about the KING go for it…there are TONS of resources dedicated to our kids….sometimes its us that needs coping skills

    and yes totally breaking it into chunks is so much easier…because (IMHO) we feel helpless a lot of the time…there is nothing we can DO, or that they even NEED….during these at home moments…so we go stir crazy…bringing him to the beach….you are doing something for HIM and YOU…bacon..WELL ITS BACON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ….. the important thing is you ARE THERE whether it is at home or out and about

  5. I totally get this. Totally.

  6. I know this exact feeling. My situation is a bit different, but, similar in many ways in regards to Autism and behaviors. I find myself, too, breaking up the days into chunks of specific activities or trips out. It seems to me, that a few extra daily transitions helps with behaviors, and honestly it feels like there's a few breaks in there for me, too.  Ahh… the Auti life… I don't care what anyone says, I love my son to no end, but I do wish he could have not been on the spectrum. I've cried watching other children play basketball and soccer, that's something I may never see. He's just never shown an interest, plus, we're still working on coordination and throwing and catching, anyways. 🙂 I've imagined him sitting in the GenEd classes, too, learning with the nuero typical kids. It’s definitely my hopes that he's able to do this one day, but, I am prepared if it doesn't happen and even more, I’m okay with that. He is who he is and I love this dude, regardless. On the bright side, my son is amazing, he is loving, smart, kind, playful and funny, and he’s genuine and caring. He works every nerve I got and I love him for it. I love his smile and I love that he tolerates my need to force him to brush his teeth twice a day so I can keep that nice smile! 😀 I love how he tolerates me, period, because I know I annoy the crap out of him. I make him speak and use good manners. I’ve even taught him to hold me arm to arm, since he’s gotten taller. I am teaching him to be a gentleman. I can’t tolerate anything less, so I treat him just like I would any other child. I am just more patient, kind and loving with him. I feel like if I don’t force it out of him, he’ll never do it, and I want him to, because I know that he can and I will make sure he does it. Anyway, should you see this, AD, I want to thank you for sharing your stories. I’ve followed you for quite some time now, but I’ve not posted anything, just read. You and AM are amazing and keep me inspired every day.

    My best regards to you, AD, AM & King <3
    Tiffany Gardner

  7. I never read your post and think 'it's all about you! I say anything that helps you get through the day and remain sane is a good thing!!

  8. Anonymous

    This ABSOLUTELY makes life easier on long days alone and even not alone with my son! You hit it on the nose!!

  9. Anonymous

    I didn't even need to read this to know "why" – I'm living it! Just got back from an all day outing to NYC and the Creatabilities program for kids w/autism at the MOMA so I could escape MY house. Yes, it's all about me, too…. 😉