It’s getting crazy up in here… Eating / Feeding Issues :-(
June 4, 2011
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June 4, 2011
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It’s getting crazy up in here. I briefly mentioned it in one of my other notes, but Kyle’s had some major eating / feeding issues the past year or so.
His appetite has gone down and there was a 6 month stretch where he lost 5-6 pounds. Even with that weight loss he was still in the normal range for a boy his age & height. But doctors dont like it when a 7-8 year old loses 10% of his body weight.
We have no definitive reason for the loss of appetite. It could be a combination of some meds that he was on (that normally increase appetite but nothing is normal about Kyle :-)… or it could be the fact that he went thru a stretch where he breathed heavy & fast ALL DAY (almost like hyperventilating) and he could have been burning alot of calories doing this.
Whatever the reason, he lost weight and the wife took it upon herself to fatten him up. And she did, she got those 5-6 pounds back, but what she had to do and now still has to do is feed him like a little baby. Strapped into a seat (meant for a 4-5 year old). Forkful by forkful. Put a piece of chicken on the fork and either prompt him to pick up the fork, or literally feed him.
This is for almost EVERY meal. Unless it’s popcorn or cheerios (which he eats like Cookie Monster as you can see from my profile pic) he needs to be fed.
And it drives the wife crazy and the two of them are at each others throats sometimes when I get home from work. Kyle grabbing my hand and “asking” to be unstrapped….but we check his school lunch and he barely ate that so he’s gotta stay strapped and eat some more…
I kinda refuse to feed him like a baby. I think it’s ridiculous. No kid will literally starve themselves right? And the wife will remind me that he did lose 6 pounds in just a few months.
If it was up to me, I’d feed him popcorn and cheerios every day and just give him a good multivitamin and to make up for the rest.
The feeding thing has really gotten crazy and I kinda feel that it’s putting a rift in Kyle’s relationship with his mom.
Currently my wife is just Kyle’s chauffeur, maid, and cook. He gives her almost no attention or affection. Then I get home from work and Kyle is all over me, pulling at my neck, asking me to pick him up, planting a kiss on my forehead.
This is going to come out wrong and I know I’m in the wrong here…BUT… I think Kyle currently shows me more affection because I expect less out of him then the wife does and I ask less of him. I’ll put his socks and sneakers on instead of prompting and making a 10 minute lesson out of it. I’ll unstrap him after only a few forkfuls of dinner and then make him a bag of popcorn at 830 at night before bedtime. So he LOVES me and the wife he barely tolerates.
I honestly don’t know the solution is but something has gotta change with the whole eating / feeding situation and with the whole Kyle not giving his mom attention because it’s really getting my wife down.
And because I know a few of you are thinking it… 🙂 We tried the GFCF thing years back and didn’t see much improvements. We may try it again in the future but we are fairly certain that this feeding issue is not a GFCF issue…
That’s my story… Not necessarily looking for any solutions from any of you (but if you have them please send them)… just wanted to give you another window into our crazy world at the moment
Written byFrank Campagna
I’m a 48 year old neurotypical dad with a 14 year old son with severe, non-verbal autism & epilepsy. I created this blog to rant about autism & epilepsy while celebrating my son who I affectionately call “the king” :-).
6 People Replies to “It’s getting crazy up in here… Eating / Feeding Issues :-(”
so when hes 20 he wont know how to put his shoes on
Our son pretty much lives on oatmeal & Cheerios. A few months ago I came across these pouches that have saved my sanity. Basically its baby food in a plastic pouch with a little spout on top. They taste disgusting but our kiddo eats them like crazy. I think its the novelty of squeezing it into his mouth but he LOVES them. They have all kinds but I always buy the ones that have fruit & veggies. Anyway, you might give them a try. They are usually on the baby food aisle. I know it sounds crazy but I swear by them.
Our son had a lot of feeding issues as well… His wasn't because he didn't want to eat it, but he was unable to swallow certain foods. He was on pureed baby foods (first stage) until he was almost 3. Then he didn't want that, but wouldn't be able to eat anything but pudding… so we had to supplement him with pediasure to be able to give him the vitamins and such he was lacking from foods. When it comes to your kids and their nutrition and lack of and fight with, it is hard and aggrevating. Your wife is doing good by pushing him to try and eat.. However, I know when I had quit my job to work with my son with his feeding issues, I was advised by a therapist NOT to force them because they will really become uninterested and not trust you. So I would just work with him constantly… if he didn't eat it, I would give him some pediasure and then try again. It's a long, hard process, but I am happy to say that we no longer have feeding difficulties with my son.
Thanks so much for your blog, it is very inspiring. Tomorrow Rethink Autism is having a webinar on feeding problems and autism. I don't know if you are familiar with Rethink Autism, but you should check it out. I can't vouch for it one way or another as we have only been enrolled for about a month. Anyay, I will see if there is a way to share a link to the webinar once it has been archived.
You could be on to something BUT your wife is doing what she HAS to do. Kyle has to eat and he can't just eat popcorn and cheerios. It's a painstaking process that you will be rewarded for later. This is the first post I have read of yours and I have to say, I get you and I get your wife. She is looking at the big picture not just today or tomorrow. Kyle will always love his mom and since he doesn't see you all day, he misses you. He knows mom is always there for him. Our picky boy is FINALLY eating most of the same dinner we eat (he will be 8 next month). not the veggies but chicken, pork or steak. It's ridiculously exciting and has taken YEARS of offering/refusing. Autism moms don't give up. EVER.
I also feed my son whatever he wants to eat he's 6 years old and although I out weigh him by a lot he's a much better fighter than my I used to have to hold him and have somebody else give him medicine luckily he's not on any now. He has slowly came around to believing that some fruits are actually food but veggies are a big no-no he literally puked when I've tried to feed him vegetables I have tried sneaking pureed veggies in spaghetti sauce but he can tell the difference. Also, I'm a single parent and nobody else can be "the mean parent" so he gets his way more because without that he'd have nobody to cuddle and just except him as is and that would be horrible. Maybe you could take turns being the bad guy even if you don't think it's important your wife does and it's hard being a parent as it is without the loves.