Autism Daddy Can Be Hard To Please…. My 4 Hangups….
May 30, 2011
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Now Reading: Autism Daddy Can Be Hard To Please…. My 4 Hangups….
May 30, 2011
Sometimes theres just no pleasing an autism mom or dad. I realized today that I am hard to please. And I’ve got a few hangups… 4 of which I will share with you today…
1) When out with friends with no kids or typical kids i find that people ask me about autism / Kyle too much or not at all. I don’t know in my head what the perfect balance is, but there’s some days when I just want to have a beer and not talk about it at all…and there’s some days where I’m thinking how could we be chatting for 60 minutes and they never asked how Kyle was doing. So there’s really no pleasing me. My wife has similar issues. When she goes out with the “autism mommies” they RARELY talk about autism, they’re just happy to be out having adult conversation. 🙂 But when she goes out w/ friends who have typical kids, people either ask really detailed questions about Kyle and autism will rule the conversation which is not what she wanted with her night out… OR…they won’t ask at all and be talking about accomplishments that they’re kids are making and autism will be the elephant in the room.
2) Another interesting issue that I have is when some work colleagues ask how my son is doing. I often wish I had some good news to tell them or some great progress to update them on cuz I don’t think they really want the nitty gritty of how he’s REALLY doing… so I just say “he’s doing fine, thanks for asking..”. Again this is my hangup. They are just being nice and checking in…
3) Another thing that gets under my skin is when we are at a gathering with extended family or adult friends who don’t see Kyle very often… we must hear “Wow, he’s gotten so big” a dozen times from a dozen different people. The reason it gets under my skin? Cuz there’s not much more they can say. On the surface Kyle is acting/ behaving the same way that he was the last time they saw him & the time before that & the time before that… So all they see and can say is… “wow he’s gotten so big…”. Again, my problem/ hangup.
4) When family/ friends (mostly older folks 🙂 see articles in the newspaper on autism and say “did you see that? I’m gonna clip it out and send it to you…” Trust me mom & dad there’s nothing you’re gonna read / see on tv about some treatment that we don’t know about already and perhaps even tried already. And the inspirational story about the boy with auism making 6 baskets in the basketball game isn’t gonna make us feel better… Again, they mean well… So this is my hangup.
That’s all. 4 things that popped in my head today and wanted to share them… 🙂
Written byFrank Campagna
I’m a 48 year old neurotypical dad with a 14 year old son with severe, non-verbal autism & epilepsy. I created this blog to rant about autism & epilepsy while celebrating my son who I affectionately call “the king” :-).