Saturday, August 26, 2017

Wifey And I Have Separated...





I spoke at 3 different autism events back in July. At each of them I did my presentation “Top 20 Things Nobody Ever Told Me After My Kid Was Diagnosed”. This is the presentation that I've been doing around the country the past few years. And all three speeches went extremely well, but it was really, really difficult for me to get through them these last three times. The reason? Well, number 2 on my Top 20 list is that “Your Marriage Can Survive & Get Stronger” and then I list 11 tips to a strong autism marriage. And unfortunately this part of the presentation isn't true anymore. You see wifey and I have separated. Yep, you read that right. After 20 years of marriage, after 14 years of raising a kid, and after 12+ years of being autism parents, we have separated, and are working with a mediator on a divorce agreement. So, if you’ve been wondering why I haven’t written much lately, now you know why. I’ve been dealing with this. You don't need to all the details. It’s none of your business anyway. :-) Just know that no one cheated on the other, no physical or mental abuse. Let’s just say that we drifted apart. That’s the official story. Again, I won’t give you all the details, but I gotta tell you that I didn’t see it coming. It came as a shock to me. I have written tons of things on this blog and on my FB page saying what a great autism mom wifey is. And all of that is still completely and utterly true. I have also written lots of things on this blog & FB page about how great our marriage is. And I thought that was true…it was true for me... but I wasn’t seeing things clearly.

Wifey wasn’t happy. And according to her she hasn’t been happy for a long time. Maybe in a weird way our kid having autism and epilepsy kept us together longer than we would have if we had typical kid(s). I honestly think that the reason that this is happening now is that the king is finally in such a good place with his health and his personality, and his school situation. He is in such a good place that we both have had a chance to breathe for the first time in YEARS. And we are looking around and realizing that we have a lot less in common than we did years ago.

And I was fine with the status quo, wifey was not. This process really started back in the winter, but it became more “official” a few weeks ago when we started living separately. We have a 50/50 custody schedule with the king. So he’ll live with me half the time and wifey half the time. That's pretty much it. That's really all I have to say about this situation right now. And I'm only posting this now because I have more speaking gigs coming up, and after speaking at the events in July I realized how much my blog/ page means to people. And how my brutal honesty resonates with people. And for the past few months I haven't posted much because I wasn't ready to let you all in on this new reality in my life. There was one part of me that wasn’t ready because a lot of our family & friends read the blog, and a lot of them don’t know yet. However, we are now living separately, so I think it’s time to let people know. There was another part of me that was embarrassed to let you into this new part of my life because I spent so much time writing about what a great marriage I had.

However, after speaking at those three events in July i had so many people come up to me afterwards and tell me how much my writing means to them and how me talking about the difficult times makes them feel less alone. And those people coming up to me made me realize two things 

 1) that I was somewhat being a phony by still talking about how great my marriage is in my presentation
2) That It's my brutal honesty that got me here with the blog/page. So if I'm going to continue the blog/page honestly then I need to bring you all along for this new ride of my life moving forward. And I know that lots of you will have questions. I'll answer the ones I feel like answering right now: 1) What about the king? How is he handling / gonna handle all of this?
That's the huge unknown. We've been talking to him about this for a while now. We assume he's grasping it and we are watching for signs of regression and aggression. And we will continue to watch for them now that he’s living in 2 places.
He's been pretty easy going and malleable lately. In a weird way this may be the best thing for him. The reason I say that is I think wifey and I will work extremely hard to make sure he has a great time when he is living with each of us. Maybe we've gotten lazy & complacent when it comes to engaging the king (I'm more guilty of this than wifey). However, now that we are living separately I see us both really going overboard making sure he's engaged and busy when he's living with each of us… I can't speak for wifey but for me maybe that's partially out of sense of guilt, and partially out of a sense of competition with wifey. Regardless of the reasons, the king will reap the benefits. 2) You said you were shocked by this separation. Where do you stand now? Yes. I was shocked. I keep using the term “blindsided”. However after going to a few sessions of marriage counseling and a few sessions of individual therapy I've learned that in cases where there's no adultery or abuse one side is usually blindsided by the other. So yes I was angry for a while. It took me a few months to come to grips with what wifey wanted / needed. However, I've turned a corner and am excited to start this new chapter in my journey. 3) Do you guys still love each other? How amicable can things be. We are trying to be as amicable as possible. As I mentioned earlier it took me longer to get on board because I didn’t see it coming. I had my good weeks and bad weeks. However, for the king’s sake we will be amicable. I'd say that we still love each other. Yes. However maybe we’re not in love with each other anymore. Look, we are both 47 years old, We've been married 20 years and have been “together” for 24 years. That's a long ride. Maybe it's just taken its course. ---------- So that’s all I’m gonna say right now. Maybe I’ll give out more dribs & drabs of details moving forward, but i felt this was important to do now because I want to keep writing about my reality. And moving forward, my reality is going to be me only being with the king half the time. I want to write about how that feels. I want to write about being a part time single parent half the week. I want to write about how it feels to live alone the other half. I want to write about how it feels to be out to dinner with friends and have no one to check in with, no one to rush home to. I want to write about the ups and downs. I want to write about it all. So I’m hoping that this blog post will open up the floodgates and get me writing & blogging & Facebooking again. And the last thing that I will say is please do not bash wifey in the comments. I will not tolerate that. There is no bad guy here. It takes two to tango. You don’t know what our marriage was like. I know on the blog I may come off as a superstar, but if you read between the lines, and read everything I write, you can easily see that I’m no picnic to live with. I can be extremely intense. I have lots of self doubt. I've written about how I went on antidepressants back in 2009. However, I probably should have been on them as far back as my 20s, way before the king was born.

So as much as I felt blindsided and as unhappy as I was with how it all went down, let’s just say that wifey had her reasons... So please no wifey bashing in the comments. And also please don’t ask a lot of questions in the comments. This is all I want to say right now. So please don’t ask additional questions because I’m not going to answer them.
We’re going to have family & friends & coworkers reading this and gathering this news for the first time, so this is how I wish to present it at this time. THANKS FOR READING AND THANKS AS ALWAYS FOR YOUR SUPPORT! THE END -- If you're gonna shop Amazon anyway, can I ask that you enter Amazon by using the search box above or by going to http://www.amazon.com/?tag=a050ef-20  This way I can make a little money to help pay for my son's after school & weekend therapies.  This blogging thing has been awesome & life changing for me... but I must admit that it's taking up a lot more time than I ever thought... so if I can make a few bucks it'll make it easier for me to justify....Love you all! Thanks!!

68 comments:

  1. Dear Frank,
    I am sorry to read this . My son was blind sided also and 2 years have passed and he realizes now it was for the best. I just wish you all peace as you transition through the process of untangling 24 years of life together. The King will be o.k. .

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  2. Sending love your way during this transition ❤️

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  3. You got this and you know we're always here hanging out on the net to help in anyway we can xx

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  4. Thinking of you all and sending positive vibes your way.

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  5. As always, I am impressed by your honesty. I'm sure many of your readers join me in wishing only the very best to you, Wifey and the King as you all begin this new chapter.

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  6. I'm so sorry to read this. It is always sad when something comes to an end but I wish you all peace and positive vibes to handle this situation. I am sure everything will work out and while it is a rough journey you will all become even stronger through it all and navigate things in new ways! My thoughts are with you!

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  7. I'm sorry for all of you. I also want to wish you all the best, you will get through this and so will the King. The transition will get iffy, but you will all find your way to a new "normal". Good luck!

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  8. Been through it...sometimes it's the best for all involved after the initial shock wears off. It's been 8 years...and I'm mostly just sad about the outcome of it all.

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  9. Sending lots of love to you and your family. You can do this!!

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  10. Marriage is hard no matter what. People do change a ton in 20 years. I have been through divorce and now remarried. For me getting divorced was a good thing, but I do realize it is different for everyone. Sending you all healing energy and hope that the King adjusts well. Your blog means the world to me because there are few out there like this and anywhere close to the same as my King Jack. Wish all the best for everyone!!

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  11. Marriage is tough. Special needs parenting makes it even tougher. Hubby and I have been near separation a few times. I attempted suicide this past January and spent a week in the inpatient psychiatric care unit of a local hospital. I am currently on three medications for major depressive disorder. I can totally relate. Hubby and I have to work so hard to care for our daughter who is on the lower end of the autism spectrum, plus our other children, that we are often exhausted and tapped out of mental reserves. It's a battle to schedule date nights and time to be intimate. I appreciate your honesty. I will keep you, your wife, and your son in my thoughts and prayers. Also, never doubt your past posts and talks about marriage. What has taken place at this current stage in your life does not negate all the good of the past. You helped so many people, and you will continue to help people. I know that you and wifey will continue to do what's best for The King. Sending lots of love and support your way!

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    1. @ redkitchen. Unlike You, I'm writing this anonyloudly because I'm too cowardly to use my real profile. I thought I was the only one who had suicidal thoughts. I am so exhausted all of the time that I've often considered just walking out of the door with JUST the clothes on my back and never turning back. Hubby works incredibly hard to make our life so much easier, but I get so painfully lonely. Today I am entertaining the process of divorce...who knew there would be so many more people affected than Hubby, baby and me?

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  12. Dear Autism Daddy, I am so sorry you are going through this! It sucks and it won't be easy, but I promise that someday you will be on the other side of it and it will be okay. The King will be okay too. I was blindsided too, so I speak from experience. Similar yet different situations, but same hard. Prayers and Big Hugs <3

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  13. So sorry to hear about this. The statistics of marriages staying together after an Autism diagnosis is horribly low. Divorce rates are miserably high. My husband and I have been married almost 23 years and have been Autism Parents for 10 1/2 years. Our marriage has morphed into a different relationship. We do plan US time away from our son and really enjoy it but our reality is that our marriage isn't perfect. Peace to your family. Learning a new way of being a family offers opportunities of immense growth. The King will be fine because it sounds like his parents are still making him the number one focus. From: The Laughter Mum http://laughtercouldbethemissingpiece.blogspot.com/

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  14. Can I get your number? Haha...just kidding! LOL. I'm sure the three of you will have many more good times ahead than bad even if you're not all together.

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  15. I blindsided my husband a month ago after 27 years. I wish us both the best.

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  16. It is with sadness for you and your wife that I post this. But it seems that both of you are respectful of each other and you both put the needs of your child in the forefront and so I wish you both all of the love, luck, and happiness in the next chapters of your lives. I know I want to hear your honest posts about being a single parent, how combining work and parenting are working out. Maybe some of the great folks who follow you can now return the favour and be of help to you as well. Peace snd love for all three of you!!

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  17. Thanks for once again sharing your life with us. I'm sorry to hear that you have been dealing with this. It's so hard.... 💜

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  18. Hi Autism Daddy
    You mentioned you're not sure how much the king comprehends of your seperation. Have you heard of Rapid Prompting Method (RPM,)? ITS A METHOD OF COMMUNICSTION WHEREBY PARENTS CAN COMMUNICATE WITH THEIR NON VERBAL LOVED ONES MEANINGFULLY. It (RPM) was developed by Soma Mukhopadhyay an Indian mother for her autistic son. Today her son is a published author and Soma lives in Texas conducting workshops for parents and children to learn her profoundly simple methods. She also travels with her workshops. She has changed the lives of many families! I have included the link below.
    http://www.halo-soma.org/learning_methodology.php

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  19. Move forward and continue to give your king the strength and support he needs. I have walked away from my marriage and I am now happier than I was and so is my asd son and young daughter. You are amazing parents and that will never change.

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  20. PS:feel free to contact me Julia Mulpuri...Sydney Australia.

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  21. Very sorry to hear of your struggles at a very tough time. As you transition to the new situation, I hope you can think of Wifey foremost now as "the King's Mom"--rather than referring to her as Ex-wifey. Maybe this seems obvious, but that little semantic difference has made all the difference in some families I know that have been touched by divorce. We wish you and your family all the best, as you figure out this next chapter.

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    1. This^^^^^

      I would HATE being constantly referred to as "wifey" let alone "ex-wifey"

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  22. Thanks for being brave and sharing with us. I am sure this will in no way change you and the amazing Autism Daddy that you are.

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  23. I pray that all things work together for good. I have a 29 year old autistic son (high-functioning), who I love so much but now, never get to see as my ex-husband has remarried and the new wife gets to share all of his time. I am so proud of the way you and your wife are handling this situation as I know the sorrow of not getting to spend the time with my son that I would like to. I can honestly say that our marriage didn't work out for numerous reasons, but I always included my ex-husband as much as possible. However, he got remarried 2 years after we broke up and that marriage lasted less than a year and I think he blames me for that as he included me in my sons life, his wife did not want me there. So, now in his 2nd marriage after me he seems happy and I want that for him as I will always love him for giving me my son and my perfectly beautiful daughter. He has made her the mediator between me and my son, and I don't want that kind of pressure for her as she is 25 and has her whole life ahead of her. I will pray for you and your family as I pray for mine, that all things work together for good for those who love the Lord. I know that he is still on his throne and he is in charge of all of our lives. So, to the author and finisher of my life, I leave all of this with him. I pray that you and your wife find a special meaning thru this and I pray mostly for The King, who I know, understands everything that is going on, even thought he does not communicate it yet I feel that like my son, he is a special present from God to us for a reason. I pray that you find your reason as I look for mine. Rachel Cleven

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  24. I'm sorry to hear this. I know it's extremely painful. In many ways it can seem more painful than becoming widowed because there is a perceived element of choice. But, no one would choose this, it happens. I'm glad the King is doing ok so far, and I hope that continues. Blessings to you all. Continue to be kind to each other and press on and look for the joys of life.

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  25. My husband and I separated just over a year ago we have 2 asd kids and one waiting assessment.. we tried to be amicable but at times have struggled. We seem more on an even keel now and the kids thrive on this. It gets easier I promise.. like yourselves I should of seen it coming but life takes over.. wishing you , wifey and the King peace and happiness in this new chapter

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  26. I think the changes will help King. One trait of autism is resistance to change of the sometimes repetatory routine. By changing to new things he will probably experience many breakthroughs. I wouldn'nt be surprised if he starts to become verbal. I have a 41 year old son who was non-verbal until he was 9 years old. A psychiatrist told me he probably would never talk. Now day's it's sometimes hard to shut him up.He also ccan recall a lot of memories from his non-verbal years. Good luck to you and your family !

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  27. I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time right now. Don't think for one minute that you are a hypocrite (as in your post). You are human although at times you've come across as super human you're human all the same. Prayers for you the King and your wife. God Bless you'll be in the hearts and minds of us all.

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  28. Sending positive vibes to you and King, and Wifey. It's no ones business what's happening. As long as everyone is healthy, do what you need to do.

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  29. Wishing you all happiness as you start a new chapter. Keep blogging you're a great writer.

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  30. wishing the best of luck in transitioning in your new life and always the very best for King...he has great parents and always will

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  31. Takes a brave man to put it all out there like this and it's rare to see a spouse take equal blame when a marriage ends. I would bet on you getting around 20 marriage proposals a week or more....

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  32. I admire your courage and honesty in this post. I always say that autism is easy, but marriage is hard. I wish you and your family all the best.

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  33. I am so sorry to read this. My husband and I separated 3 years ago - for reasons that blindsided me. It's painful. It's hard. It's brutal. But you can do this. Unfortunately, my husband died before the divorce was finalized, so I'm now a solo parent of a 15 year old with the most severe, nonverbal autism. Again, brutal...but I'll make it work. You are in the worst of it right now. A year from now will be better. Hang in there. You've got this!

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  34. This too shall pass Frank, n wifey.

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  35. I am so sorry to hear this! I am so happy to hear this. As the grandmother of a grandson with Aspergers, and I use this term because that was the term when my grandson was diagnosed, I truly,truly believe that if ANY family tries to beat their way through a troublsome marriage not only are these parents going to be the one who SUFFERS but also this precious child who asked for none of this... To be born, to be born different, or the grief and hurt that a disentigrating marriage will bring. Let's just say, I've lived it...as a child of hateful, hurting parents who shouldn't have stayed together to a grown adult of two failed marriages of her own. And now as I sit her nearly 60 years old after reading this story all I can say is how I wish for the sake of my three beautiful children, I'd made different choices in the timing of my divorces and the hurt that staying together with their father's for too long caused. Hindsight... Oh well...thats a whole other story!! Love the "King" with all your hearts and he WILL reap the benefits and in the long run so will the both of you!

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  36. I'm not going to bash either of you. This journey is hard and then some. I wish you both the best and how remember the important person in your lives, your son. And do right by him. No matter how you feel about whatever time your son is a part of you both. While I am still with The dad if my son with Autism, I also have a stepson. Throughout it all we did our best to not speak poorly of his mother and did pretty well. He did find out on his own what she is like and for that I feel for him. And I am grateful for him to have us and his ex-wife stepfather in his life.

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    1. Please forgive my typos. Ex-stepfather, not ex-wife and a few others

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  37. I'm so sorry to hear that , but no matter how bad a store get you will always sail through , I've been an autism mom from the day my son was born , he's 7 now and he improves little by little with each passing day so I know you can make it through

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  38. what a difficult season you have entered - but I still salute you for how you are dealing with this. I am sorry that you and your wife (no matter what the reason behind this is, no matter who is wrong and who is right) has to go trough this .... it is a painful season - a winter! Thankfully spring is on the way and though, it will be separate springs for you and your wife - it will be happy new beginnings - spring is always happy. Keep going, you are AUsome!

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  39. Been there..it gets easier.. thank you for sharing.

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  40. I have read your blogs on and off. May you find the strength to see this through and I truly hope the King will have a smooth transition through this. I like to read your blogs. You are so brutally honest and that is amazing for me to see.. Thanks

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  41. I hear you loud and clear. I am a single parent myself with 2 children on the spectrum and I can't even say enough how much respect I have for you and your role as a father. My ex walked almost completely away when we divorced and it's been extremely stressful - beyond stressful - raising them on my own. I have rarely spent a night away from them - maybe a handful of times in 5 years because they are so challenging. But we've made it through and we are better for it. It gets worse before it gets better - hang in there!

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  42. May both of you move forward with new beginnings and reach your happy places
    Sad news but bstay strong both of you
    This life is not an easy life

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  43. So sorry to hear you news,I wish you all the very best in your future.

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  44. Sorry to hear about you and wifey. Glad you have taken time away from FB to concentrate on arranging/organising your lives now. There is no need to explain anything, it's well known marriages of parents with special needs rarely work, you've both done well to get to 24 years. Now it's time for you both to enjoy a second chance at love and life and friends and for King to enjoy happier parents. Love to you all x

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  45. Sorry to hear this for you both. Life happens and we roll with the punches. No place for judgement by outsiders. On a side note and different perspective you're going to be able to give a perspective that is not often spoke about by the single dads of a child with autism, and at 14 and older as they enter adulthood! This perspective will be enlightening and helpful for sure. Keep writing!! Good luck to everyone in your journeys forward!

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  46. Thanks for sharing your life, I wish you the best and look forward to your future blogs. I believe you and your ex wife will be even happier and be able to find better balance for yourselves and for your son. I'm sure you were kidding when you said you would overcompensate and spoil your son. You were definitely right it takes two to tango in any divorce. Life as a parent of autism is tough and that's why the divorce rate is 85 %. Best wishes and thanks for sharing...

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  47. I will admit that reading this post made me very sad. I think mainly because I have loved reading about your adventures together as an Autism family. It is so true that only 2 things in live are certain - death and taxes. I really do wish you, Wifey and the King all of the best in this new chapter in your life and I look forward to reading all about it.

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  48. Lifelong marriage under the best circumstances is uncertain. Add in all the stresses of today's world plus a non verbal asd child and the married couple must work even harder at sustaining that marriage. If marriage was easy, even with no children, there wouldn't be so many divorces. I am so sorry your family is facing this hurdle. There are so many new emotions to experience and process. It's lonely and it's difficult, especially when you throw in depression or MDD. Stay safe. Take care of yourself first. If you aren't in a good place, trying to be in a good place with others will be difficult. You've been honest with us and I will be honest with you. As one who suffers with MDD and the Grandmommy of a nonverbal ASD Grandson. You can do this. I won't bash wifey because she needs to be happy and feel good about herself also. My wish for all of you is a sense of peace and happiness, to come out on the other side as friendly as you can be, so you can peacefully co-parent and be strong advocates, together, for your Son. Best wishes and hang in there!

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  49. http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/promos/hope-restored

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  50. I have found that when you share the details of your life, as you do in your blog, the daily stuff that creates joy and pain is the most relatable. Sharing the story of your separation and pending divorce is important, as will be the topics you plan to write about as you experience them. I appreciate your insight regarding the distractions from raising children which caused you to drift apart, particularly a child with autism and other medical conditions. This was also the case for my own 20-year marriage, which ended 9 years ago. We drifted apart as we raised our children, one with classic autism and many medical problems. What also happened is that we had to put away parts of who we are to find time and energy for our children, which we are willing to do as parents. But then there is little left to give each other. We think we're good with that, and we trudge on until we realize that we just might have lost a part of who we are somewhere along the way. People seek to get that back a number of ways -- either by changing direction, or by finding the person he/she was before kids. That doesn't mean you forego your commitment to care for your kids, but you might feel you also have to find yourself again and you might not be able to do it in the marriage. I think that's what happened in my marriage because I felt all those things, but I didn't leave. My ex-husband left and pursued many interests I didn't realize he had, so perhaps it was the same for him. Despite the pain of separation and divorce, my son with autism weathered it very well. It was important to explain everything to him ahead of time, every day, because transitions can be hard. He showed remarkable understanding and flexibility as long as we prepared him for each one. Things aren't better or worse today -- they just are. My ex husband and I get along fine, cooperate well with the shared care of my son, and my son seems to really enjoy the variety in his life. There are snafus to contend with, but it's mostly the adults with the relationship and flexibility problems and not the person with autism. :-) Yes, sometimes I'd like to have two parents at the doctor visit. Usually it's just me, but truthfully it was always that way. Life settles down into a new pattern that is not predictable during the intensity of separation and divorce. Plan for your children and everything tends to fall into place. Sorry this was so long -- I really never comment on anything I read, but for some reason this one drew me in. I hope you are well.

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  51. So sorry to hear this Frank. I'm always afraid this will be me. We were married at 19, a couple years out of high school, and had dated since we were 16. Now, we'd just had our 30th anniversary. My mom was blindsided at 32 years of marriage. With three kids, the oldest two are out of the house and married, and the youngest about to turn 18. We're looking into getting a guardianship for her. But I have to wonder what will happen when/if she's out of the house. Will we find any common interests anymore? Or will we be strangers; finding our only common ground was being carers for a child with autism? It's scary.

    You've thrown everything into autism. Blogs, talks, advice, and maybe it's hard on the other person when you seem to be the one to handle it all, or at least, know so much about it. But you have to know that staying married "for the kids sake" is the worst thing you can do for them. My father did this. He kicked my mother out by pointing a gun at her and telling her to GTFO NOW. She didn't know they were having trouble. I was 26. As a child as young as 8 years old, I could tell he at the least, resented her. After one argument, my brother went with her to comfort her, and I stayed with him. He told me then that he only stayed because of us kids. Great. So 18 years of unhappiness and bitterness for us. Gee thanks. Sure, change of any kind is hard. But making a child feel that you are sacrificing your ability to be happy for them is just shit. You are doing the right thing.

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  52. Truly sorry hang in there!
    My best to all

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  53. Very sorry to hear this, Frank, but I went through a similar split about 8 yrs ago when my son was around 5. The thing that was hardest for me (and probably anyone going from full to 50/50 with their child) were the feelings of guilt I had about personal time. I suddenly had half of my time free and I felt incredibly guilty that I wasn't dedicating that to my son. Just sitting down to watch a TV show that wasn't a cartoon made me feel like a horrible person! It took some time to realize I wasn't being a bad father if I had a beer with friends on the weekends I didn't have my son. That guilt probably lingered longer than anything did with my ex, but you eventually realize that it's okay to be 'you' and not daddy all the time. Anyway, hang in there!

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  55. Wow...I am so sorry to hear this. Praying for all of you.

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  56. So sorry...Hope things pan out well

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  57. Damn, Frank... just, damn.

    I started over in my 40's after an ugly divorce, and it turned out spectacular. I have my own "King" as a result, and while it ain't all sunsine and roses, partly cloudy with daisies is pretty damned good.


    Hang in here, and allow yourself to find happiness wherever it may come.

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  58. Is there anything you think,
    You could have done different? Having a son similar, this is one of my greatest fears.

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  59. As another autism daddy going through the exact same thing, my heart goes out to you. I can't really offer advice. I wish I could, but each of our experiences, though we were both blindsided by the request for divorce when we thought things were fine, are still different. I wish you the best of luck, the strength to carry on in your new circumstances, and of course the best for your son.

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  60. I cried. My heart goes out to you.

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  61. Really, really sorry to hear this, Frank.

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  62. Thank you so much for sharing. I truly admire your honesty and courage to put it all out there. Losing the other half of yourself is an awful thing to have to go through. I know because my husband and I separated a year ago this month. It will get better and easier as time passes. By sharing your life, the good, the bad, and even the ugly you are not only getting it out of your system but your also helping countless others going through many of the same trials and tribulations. On the days that seem unbearable I just have to remind myself of the old saying that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Sending you, wifey and the king much peace, love and happiness.

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  63. When I discovered you years ago, I was divorced and reading about your commitment to your marriage and your child soothed my own heart - you were a man talking positively, not a woman. I am sad to read this and hopeful ..... hopeful that you long to be honest and hopeful that you long to share your thoughts and feelings as your life changes. All the very best to you, the King and Wifey, always ....

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  64. Just wanted to say despite the fact it ended, does not mean your marriage was a failure. From everything you have written, it sounds like there were a lot of successes. No "wifey bashing" here, I can see how in her situation, with so much invested in the King's well being, in the ongoing forever way of having a lower functioning special needs child, maybe a little less tolerance than most of us for having other parts of her life keep her lifted up, not just "status quo". That does not mean at all you are a bad partner, maybe partly what she needed to stay lifted up changed. Nonetheless, your thoughts on marriage contributed a lot, and you had a long successful marriage while it lasted. There is a lot for someone just starting out to ponder/consider. Thank you for sharing it.

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  65. Thank you for sharing. I wish many more sunshine in your new life and wifey's. You both are great parents and the King will always know how much you guys love him. Many blessings AD, wifey, and King ��

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