(originally written & published on September 30, 2015)
When we have really stressful events like a 2 and a half day stay in the hospital for an EEG for the king a few weeks back of course I get stressed, but somehow I power thru it. However, in the days following the EEG a text from wifey saying "he had no seizures & no naps at school, but did a lot of hitting" will send me into a tizzy.
And then I'll think to myself:
We just got thru the war of almost 3 days in the hospital! He had no seizure activity! That is great news! So he did a lot of hitting! So what?! That's par for the course with him! What am I getting so stressed or upset about?!
But at least both of those stress examples above had to do with the king and his issues.
Sometimes I can't figure out why I'm stressed or anxious...
I'll get home and think
"why am i stressed right now? king is chillaxing. wifey said he had a good day. dinner is on the table. all is right with the world. what is making me feel like this?"
Sometimes I can figure it out. Other times I'm clueless.
Like yesterday we switched phone/tv/Internet providers to save about $30 a month. And I knew that I had to call the old provider before midnight to cancel. And I knew in that phone call they'd be trying to convince me not to switch and trying to resell me on their service. And I was driving home from work yesterday getting stressed about making that phone call and thinking
"I gotta get that done before midnight because otherwise they will charge me for another day!
The king had a 3 and a half minute seizure yesterday morning and yet I was almost more stressed about cancelling the cable! And what would've happened if I didn't get it done by midnight? I'd be charged for another day which equals about 5-6 bucks! Why the F am I stressing about that? Why am I ruining my ride home over something so stupid!
Other stupid things that give me stress/anxiety:
-- Misplacing my work security ID to get into the building -- WTF!?
-- Traffic (yesterday I was literally yelling and banging on the wheel because if I made it in after 10am it would cost me an extra $2 to park) WTF!?
Maybe this is all a coping mechanism. I get thru the really tough stuff with less stress / anxiety and then blow up and stress out over little things...
but then that makes me seem like a psychopath on both fronts...
"why is he so calm when his son is having so many seizures?
"why is getting crazy over $2?"
and I'd rather not blow up and stress out over anything...
Anyway I don't have any answers and this post is all over the place. All I know is that the idea to write this popped in my head last night when I was riducously stressing over cancelling the phone/tv/internet provider...and I got that done by 9:45pm last night...
...Right now it's 6:45pm on a Wednesday and our home security system isn't working which probably means a phone call to the new provider and that is currently what is stressing me out (I think)...meanwhile the king is sleeping off a seizure induced nap.
Where are my priorities of what to be stressed about?!
Is there anybody else out there that's going thru what I'm going thru?
That's it. That's all I got. Over and out!
-------------------------- -------------------------- If you're gonna shop Amazon anyway, can I ask that you enter Amazon by using the search box above or by going to http://www.amazon.com/?tag=a050ef-20 This way I can make a little money to help pay for my son's after school & weekend therapies. This blogging thing has been awesome & life changing for me... but I must admit that it's taking up a lot more time than I ever thought... so if I can make a few bucks it'll make it easier for me to justify....Love you all! Thanks!!