Monday, November 10, 2014

Autism Community: It's Ok To Disagree, But Play Nice





So I wrote 2 somewhat controversial posts on Friday. One on the Jillian Mccabe case that took me days to write. And one on the Jerry Seinfeld autism story that literally took me 15 minutes to write.

And, of course, it was the Seinfeld one that went viral and started a war of sorts between the high functioning community & the low functioning community and that was never, ever my intent.

I know many parents with high functioning kids & aspie kids. I know their struggles are real. And I've seen first hand how extremely hard it can be on a daily basis.  And I've witnessed …how mean people can be out in public when a verbal kid who seems so close to typical has a complete meltdown.   



Anyway, with all of that being said, the point of my Seinfeld post is that…. I'm human... and I've written before that sometimes it's hard for me to always have the lowest functioning kid in any given setting. I stopped going to an autism dad's support group years ago because I couldn't relate to many of their problems & issues.

So, I'm human and I write about what's going on in my brain and when Jerry diagnosed himself i wrote 

Seinfeld saying that makes me feel even less connected to those on the mildest end of the spectrum. 
How can Jerry Seinfeld have the same "disorder" as my son?  The aspies & people on the highest end of the spectrum must be living on a complete different planet from my son!  How can these be the same condition?  Do they share any of the same traits?!

That's what was going thru my brain when I first read saw the Seinfeld interview.  

Anyway, many people agreed with many, and many others vehemently disagreed with me.

And that is fine with me...

But I think a HUGE problem in our autism community is that nobody is allowed to disagree with each other.

And many people think that because of my writing style that I feel this way too...

That it's my way or the highway.

But that is so not how I feel.

I am totally fine with people disagreeing with me on all sorts of different issues.

And my positions have evolved over the years and are always evolving. I read a few things I wrote on the blog back in 2011 and think to myself I don't feel that way at all anymore.

All this to say that I write my opinion or what's on my mind at that very moment. And I stand by what I write, but sometimes the future me might change his views.

So, I am fine with people disagreeing with me.

And I am fine with other bloggers disagreeing with me. And you Autism Daddy fans need to be fine with it too.

You don't need to defend my so voraciously on other FB pages and blogs.

People should be allowed to disagree with each other, especially over something as silly as the Seinfeld story.

Some of my favorite bloggers have disagreed with me on the Seinfeld issue and the Jillian McCabe story and many of you have sent me links to their posts almost trying to drag us into some blog war with each other.

And I will not bite.

Why, you ask?

First and foremost because as long as their not being overly cruel I'm totally fine with harsh criticism.

And secondly, who has the time to get in a war over this stuff?  There's not enough hours in the day...

Let people disagree. If they have different views from me or you just state your opinion nicely and move on...

This new political world we live in where everything is either black or white and everybody has to be completely on one side of every issue is BULLSHIT.

It's bullshit in politics and it's bullshit in autism.

The whole time I've had my AD FB page I've probably banned less than a dozen people. Mainly people who overly promoted a product or wrote something extremely offensive.

However, some of my AD fan-base is getting a reputation in the autism page/ blogging community for being mean and belligerent and for trying to start up trouble.

And I won't stand for it.

So, moving forward, if I see any of you guys stirring up trouble on other FB pages and defending ol' AD too meanly I may have to ban you.

So don't do it....or you may be banned.

Play nice.

And if somebody posts a mean comment on my AD FB page or another page, take the high road and be nice. Or if it's extremely mean ignore them cuz it's probably a troll and trolls go away if you ignore them.

That's it. That's all I've got to say

The takeaway to all of this is we can all have differing opinions, but be respectful of others.

Play Nice.

And to show you how fine with it I am...here are some of my favorite blogs/FB pages that wrote posts this past weekend offering differing opinions than me on the Jillian McCabe and Seinfeld stories.  A few AD followers emailed me some of these stories thinking I'd be offended, but every one was just a different opinion…

Go check them out and like their pages cuz even though we disagree on these issues we agree on many other

THE END


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7 comments:

  1. Yes. Yes. Yes. And just for the record I have disagreed with 2 of your posts but yours is still my favorite blog out there :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. deleted my post saying I was offended because I realised how polarised it sounded and I couldn't bear the backlash from these people when it started.
    I admire this post and what you are doing .M

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes, yes, and yes. I wrote similar feelings in my post from earlier this year. http://theautismonion.com/2014/06/08/speak-for-yourself/ If we could learn to stop being so threatened by differences of opinion and start supporting each other the world would be such a different place.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am on the fence about the whole Jerry Seinfeld issue. On one hand, yes, it could lead to more awareness and possibly less of a stigma, but on the other hand, many people that are not part of the autism community are seeing yet another example of someone on the spectrum who seems to be living his life with not issues at all (on the outside). Many folks believe that this is the face of autism.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Here is a blog written by a prisoner with autism: paulmodrowski.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

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