(originally written & published on March 18, 2013)
The two most inappropriate gifts that my son Kyle has ever gotten both came from fellow autism parents who should have known better!
Kyle is non verbal and severely autistic as y’all already know by now. And the rest of his class is along the same lines. Severely autistic kids, mostly non-verbal.
So there was a bd party for another kid in the class today. And I guess the kid’s mom brought in cupcakes cuz I heard reports from the wife via the king’s 1:1 aide that my son ate two cupcakes today! Woo-hoo!
So, the inappropriate gift?
The mom sent home a party favor to every kid in the class. Very thoughtful…but unecessary. And here was the party favor gift that we got in his backpack today…
A book about Martin Luther King Jr. Nothing wrong with that… for a typical kid!!??!! But probably everyone in the class are still reading toddler books! (My son is still eating toddler books 🙂 Not age appropriate history books! WTF?! Don’t you know your own kid?
Now I know there’s gonna be people that’ll say that we should give our ASD kids something to strive for and age up with them and we should stop infantilizing our kids….
But an MLK book with quotes from the good doctor?! Come on!!
But that’s not even the worst most inapproriate gift my kid has gotten. The most inappropriate gift my kid has gotten still “boggles” my mind! At the king’s birthday party 2 years back my son was given the game “Boggle” by a different autism mom…the mom of one his classmates at his previous school!
You know the complicated word game Boggle (‘ages 8 and up”) with the little dice shaped pieces with letters all over them.
My son would have those in his mouth in a freaking heartbeat! And I know the kid who’s mom gave us the Boggle. He’s not playing Boggle any time soon either. 🙂 I think he’d be swallowing the pieces too!
C’mon moms, don’t you know our kids yet? They’re 9 years old! If you waited to the last minute to get a gift and “Boggle” was the only thing in the drug store where you bought the birthday card, I get it. We’ve been there before. In fact, we’re always there getting gifts last minute, on the way to the party…. But put the Boggle down and just put $ in an envelope.
Ok, that is all. Short post tonight cuz I gotta run. It’s almost the king’s bedtime and tonight I’m gonna sit him down and read him a great bedtime story…all about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
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regifts?
Have you actually OPENED the Boggle game? 1) The letters are permanently in there. They do not come out. 2) It makes an awesome noise when you shake it and if you press the button it beeps too! It's all in the way that you look at it, but it could be a super fun musical instrument!
Great idea. Noise that interferes with sensory issues! Sorry yes that was sarcasm. My kids have had a Boggle game and there are pieces that are quite "tasty" to eat. Both of my children are ASD. Also the sounds are definitely not one for sensory disorder. :(
Depends on the sensory disorder. Mine is a sensory seeker. And we have that exact Boggle. The letters do not come out. It's not the old fashioned one.
That should put him to sleep fast lol. My son would love that book...it has lots of nice shiny pages to eat. And I do know for a fact that dice pass through the digestive system and come out in the same condition they went in.
People are usually trying to be nice by getting AGE appropriate toys instead of developmentally age appropriate toys. Sometimes it pays not to be politically correct all the time and get something the kid will actually appreciate!
BTW... we have that book and haven't tried it with James yet. Maybe in a few years.
I feel like every gift is inappropriate. This past xmas, even my own husband bought him things that were intended for a smaller child. My in-laws to family bought him things that he hasn't even considered playing with. A toy golf set (for a smaller child), books, games...I get it. it's hard for me too. I almost broke down bawling in a Toys R Us our first xmas, but damn, money, special needs stores, clothes. There are better things for all of us to spend on our money on when a kid doesn't play with toys.
I know exactly what you mean. I feel like I can't win: the toys she likes are for kids much younger than her, her aunts (in laws) bought her things that were completely too complex for her and are now just ignoring her. My brothers give us iTunes gift cards so we can load up the iPad...probably one of the few perfect gifts.
My 4yr old daughter isn't interested in wrapped gifts at all. We try and try and then you need to let her run away from the commotion. I won't quit trying, but when her interests are a collection of empty shampoo containers, her kindle and a bunch of dog chewed foam letters, the wicked looking blue haired La-La-Loopsie ain't gonna win her over.
The best gift is time spent with our kids with a side of tickles (if they can handle it).
the book was prob free- the game a re gift-
idiots.
Lol your post cracked me up:) thanks for the smile on ce again AD
my kid would probably love shaking that boggle game. He is a sensory seeker all the way...if there isn't enough noise in the environment for him he'll find a way to make some.
My son as well, he'll play his games on iPad all noisy, he'll turn on his CD Player to listen to music, then he'll want the TV on to his favorite show "Bubble Guppies" all at the same time.
So funny, I learned to just tell people exactly what we need. It's usually not offensive because I put it in the context of "therapy". Can't control favors, but one lesson I learned is that not everyone "gets" autism, even parents of asd kids, I think that actually that was one of my hardest lessons learned :)