(originally written & published on December 16, 2011)
I’ve written many times on my Autism Daddy Facebook Page about how we’ve successfully potty trained Kyle…3 different times. He regressed and lost his potty training twice. We just retrained him back in September and so far, so good… although he did have 3 pee-pee accidents this week.
Regardless we don’t blame the regression on the potty training method we use. That’s just Kyle’s M.O. He regresses and loses things. I think the potty training method we use is solid and the fact that we’ve successfully trained a non-verbal severe asd kid who doesn’t have the greatest receptive language either is pretty impressive if I do say so myself. So hats off to my wife (who does that VAST MAJORITY of the potty training) and to one of his ABA therapists who gave us this program a few years back. I’m going to attach the actual official word documents that lay out the programs for both urination & bowel movements (bm’s).
Again, those are the official programs but we modified them a bit to fit our needs and lifestyle. Also I honestly can’t remember how or when we trained Kyle with bm’s. We probably used a version of the protocol in the document below, but I forgot. He’s gone poopy on the potty for years now and he never lost that. He only always regressed with his pee-pee on the potty training. So everything I’m gonna talk about below pertains to pee-pee training.
Ok, so for us we need like a nice 4 day weekend with no school and almost no activities so you’ll be in the house ALL DAY LONG. Kyle had 2 days off in late September for Jewish holidays and the weather was going to be rainy all weekend so we decided that it was perfect timing. Please note that mom & dad need to be in the right mental mind-set to pull this off because it gets REALLY MONOTONOUS and it can drive you crazy. We put it off for months because we thought Kyle wasn’t ready or we weren’t ready…
Anyway…
We started first thing in the morning, put him in underwear, set a timer and took Kyle to the potty EVERY 10 MINUTES.
The timer would go off and we’d say “let’s go on the potty”.
We had a pecs pic of a toilet on the Ipad and we would make him push it and it would say “I have to go potty.”
And then we’d take him in there. “Pull down pants”, etc
And if he was dry we’d make a big fuss! “YOU STAYED DRY! Good job!”
“Do you have to go pee-pee?”
If he does urinate… HUGE PRAISE.
If he doesn’t urinate…More praise for being dry.
Some little reward for staying dry and bigger reward for urinating in the potty. We kept a few of Kyle’s favorite toys in the bathroom so those were the small rewards and the big reward was a game or a video on the ipad.My wife tried to set up an amazing play area in the bathtub as a big reward but Kyle wasn’t that into it…
Anyway, when it’s all over, set the timer for 10 minutes and do it all over again.
And you should keep data like you can see in the handwritten chart pictured below….
TIME? DID HE VOID? WAS HE DRY? LIST PRAISE / REINFORCEMENT…
If he has no accidents for the first ?? hours move up to 15 minutes between trips to the potty, then 30 minutes, then 45 minutes, then 60 minutes.
This is all subjective. We probably kept Kyle on the 10 minute schedule for about
8-9 hours WITHOUT AN ACCIDENT before going up to 15 minutes…. But that’s up to you and how well you know your child. You might want to do a whole day on the every 10 minute schedule before moving up or follow exactly what the protocol says.
Now if Kyle had a pee-pee accident. We would say in a somewhat firm/ disappointed voice “No. You go pee-pee in the potty not in your pants.” And we were told to give him a mild punishment. We would make him rinse out his own underwear in the sink WHICH HE HATES. If he has a lot of accidents at the 60 minute level then go back down to 30 minutes or maybe 45, until you are accident free…
But he really didn’t have many accidents and over the 4 day weekend we extended things from every 10 minutes to every 60-90 minutes. When school started on Monday we sent him in big boy underwear and gave them a few extra sets of clothes and we asked the school to keep their own data and to take him every 30 minutes to start the week and increase it accordingly. Thankfully his classroom this year has a bathroom in it which helps IMMENSELY.
As I said, this started in late September and by late October you could say he was potty trained. I mean he still can’t communicate that he has to go. The Ipad PECS Toilet thing hasn’t stuck. But for the most part the kid will hold it until you take him… So every 90 minutes or so somebody will take him. And sometimes AT HOME ONLY he will initiate and just walk into the bathroom whip down his pants and let it rip! There is no better sound than being in the kitchen and faintly hearing pee-pee hitting the potty!
When we are out somewhere (shopping, his weekend activities, etc) we kinda have an unwritten rule that we take him at each stop.First Stop: Target – “Let’s go to the potty…”
Second Stop: Bed, Bath & Beyond – “Do you have to go peeps? Let’s try…”
Third Stop: Music Therapy – “Let’s try to go to the potty before class buddy…”Sometimes mom & dad f**k up and we forget to take him for a couple of hours. And then we feel like IDIOTS when he’s soaked. And we’re like, “oh so that’s why he was having a meltdown in the car…”
And sometimes Kyle will just get sloppy or stupid and have a day of accidents. Like a few days ago he had 3 pee-pee accidents in a 24 hour period. And me & the wife are FREAKING OUT that he’s losing it again… But I think one of the times was an accident and another was out of pure laziness and the fact that the king didn’t want to miss a second of Elmo’s World, so he peed right there.
Anyway, long story short, that’s the potty training routine that has worked for us. And if he starts getting sloppy again or god forbid regressing… this time we will nip it in the bud and go right back to every 10-15 minutes. I’m saying right here, right now that I am never putting him in PULL-UPS again…
Anyway, that’s our potty story and we’re sticking to it. I hope that this can be helpful to some of you. Attached below are the official training regiments that we were given. If your kid is an extremely tough case, I would maybe recommend doing EXACTLY what they specify to the letter of the law! 🙂
Good luck! And please report back any successes… or failures…
CLICK HERE FOR OFFICIAL TOILET TRAINING URINATION PROTOCOL…
CLICK HERE FOR OFFICIAL TOILET TRAINING BOWEL MOVEMENT PROTOCOL…
THE END
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we have been having issues with our son on this subject. he will be five in a few months and i realize it make take awhile since he is autistic. anyway, he know what the potty is and what it is for. when he poops in his pull up, he will try to put it in the toilet without telling us. pretty messy stuff. anyway, i think he just can not feel it...the urge. i think his sensory issues are to blame for this.
My son was 5 when he became fully potty trained. We struggled for a long time with both pee and poop. Then, one day it just clicked. He went in and sat on the toilet and hasn't had very many accidents since then and he is 7 now. It will happen, just be patient with him.
I agree with the 1st anonymous writer. Be patient and it will come. I doubted my son as well since he has autism and will never learn to use the bathroom. After that, I swear to believe in everything he can do despite his autism.
Our son with autism was potty trained when he was in mid-Kindergarten years. There was no turning back after that. He cleans himself as in -clean!! He can use like 20 pieces of wipes to make sure there is nothing there.
You sound like an awesome Dad! I work in a special needs classroom and see so many parent just leave it up to us to do the work/training so the easy way is at home. I respect your outlook and all the hard work and love you put ON you baby. God Bless you and your family.
My son is non-verbal and severe at the age of 4 and still thinks the toilet is a bathtub for his toys. its wonderful how you are so successful. you inspire me.
I am sharing your post. I work with children on the spectrum, and do a lot of parent coaching. These same things are what I talk about with parents, and I am so glad to hear you lay out your journey. Nothing comes easy, that's for sure. Thanks so much for sharing .... don't stop.
This is exactly the method we used and it worked wonderfully. Our daughter was 8 years old at the time, severe autism (nonverbal) and she was having bladder spasms. We started a mild muscle relaxant and used this method. Today, she is 11 years old and has been completely independent on toileting over 2 years. There is nothing better! She is proof positive that if you don't give up it will happen eventually.
It will eventually happen. My son has Asperger's and we also had a heck of a time trying to get him potty trained. Our problem was that he just didn't care if he was wet or soiled - even at 4 - and was perfectly content to sit in it. We did a lot of what you are doing with charts and rewards and lot and lots of postive reinforcement. Then one day it literally just clicked, and he started going all by himself without prompts or rewards. It will happen for you too! We are still struggling with at night. Even at 7 he still wakes up everymorning wet. Not sure what to try for that.
My son, who does not have ASD, suffered from bed wetting until he was 16 years old. We tried just about everything from not drinking anything after 9pm. waking him up every two hours during the night, to medication. Nothing worked much to his shame and embarrassment. His doctor said that he would grow out of it. Although this was frustrating we all decided to accept and live with it which did wonders to lessen his shame and apprehension. Suddenly, well into his 16 th year, he began to wake up and go to the bathroom. Perhaps he learned to wake himself up when he had the urge to go as he was a very heavy sleeper. I am not sure but it seems as if the child make take control of this situation.
I had bed wetting issues and I do not have ASD...Heck, I can still have issues...I just sleep SO hard...and I have a particular dream...and once I realized that, I can wake myself up when that dream starts and get up and go to the restroom...everyone is different, so I don't let it get me down :)
Try not letting him have anything to drink 3 hrs before bed time. My son had problems with that and hes not on the spectrum...
One of my boys (Twin A) pee trained himself in a day. I tried every trick in the book and one day he just decided to do it himself. He is still not BM trained though.
His brother (Twin B) would not train. I took him for a urodynamics test. His bladder was holding only 40% of what it should and he was having bladder spasms. He's now on a muscle relaxer to help his bladder and we are beginning the scheduled training just as you've done again. Wish us luck!
Your son sounds very much like mine. I am wondering whether Kyle knows how to pee standing up and if so how did you teach that? My son has very low attention and has difficulty standing still so we continue to have him pee sitting down but it is a big hassle in public bathrooms. Also, when your wife is taking Kyle out, I assume she takes him into the women's bathroom with her. Has she ever run into any difficulties with women's reactions there? Thanks and thanks so much for your blog!
good questions!
I still take my 13 yr old son into the ladies room- it is starting to get a little awkward- but mostly the woman don't say anything-they see he's autistic and hopefully understand
My son is 3 half and i have been doing the something with him they do it in school and I start as soon as he gets off the bus..he usually goes a few times a day which makes me happy..he is non verbal, but I am just wondering. Will it ever just stick and him start going himself..I know I have a long road ahead of me but I just hope he gets it soon
That's exactly what has worked for us too. Our 9 year old will wait until we ask him to go but even though he's very limited verbally, he can ask for "potty". He will have days or even weeks of regression and we do the same retraining. The only thing we add is extra "negative consequences". If he has an accident he is to go through many steps we add (strip his own clothes off, put them in the washer, wipe down the floor where he had the accident whether it was wet or not, wash himself, dress himself). He hates taking the time to do all this and we found it makes him come out of his regression quicker. He has severe fine motor and attention issues so much of this is hand over hand. But its given him new skills at the same time of how to do these things. If he starts enjoying any of the steps we remove them and add another so he isn't encouraged to have accidents.
Jen