A Rant On Behalf Of Autism Mommy — “Why do they look at me like I have 3 heads?”
September 19, 2011
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Now Reading: A Rant On Behalf Of Autism Mommy — “Why do they look at me like I have 3 heads?”
September 19, 2011
I’m. writing this note on behalf of my wife… Here’s the deal and HER rant of the day.
My wife is a stay at home mom. This is by choice. No, I dont make a ton of $$ and yes we could probably use a 2nd income, but with Kyles challenges we made the decision that running his schedule and his life is a full time job.
So, how come every time we begin a new school year people look at her like she has 3 heads when she explains that we don’t need a school bus for Kyle, that she will drive him to and from each day?
“Is Kyle afraid of the bus?”
“No he’s fine on the bus. Takes busses on school trips with no issues…”
“Well if you ever change your mind and work up the nerve to put him on the bus, that option is always open to you.” All this is said to her like she’s a worry wart…
So why do we not put Kyle on the bus? Well, ok, worrying plays into it a little… Every year there’s a few stories nationally about a non-verbal asd kid left on the bus for hours…or dropped off at the wrong stop.. So that plays a part in why she doesn’t put him on the bus…
The other reasons?
1) it gets her out of the house ad starts her day nice and early. If the bus was involved she fears that she’ll get stuck in a rut of sleeping late and staying in all day…
2) Her driving Kyle means that she knows EVERYONE and they know her. And she can rely on daily interaction with his teacher or aide on how his day went, even for just 60 seconds… instead of relying on his “communication notebook.”
I think that #2 reason scares teachers the most sometimes. You would think they would want an involved parent, especially for our ASD kids. But sometimes I think they want to just be left alone.
Like today, his first day at his new school, the wife stayed up til 3am wiring a detailed note explaining all about Kyle, his meds, his likes, his dislikes, etc, etc, etc. She does this at the beginning of every school year and sometimes even coming back from break.
Well wouldnt you know it, the teacher looked at her like she had 3 heads when she handed her the note (and 4 copies for the rest of the staff). “Wow that’s very efficient.”
She also got the “3 head” treatment when she mentioned that she’ll be driving Kyle every day. My wife said to me afterwards “what is so strange about driving your kid to school?”
And she got the “3 head” treatment when she asked if she can accompany the class on some, not all, but some class trips. (They do life skills trips to supermarkets and restaurants twice a month.)
“I’ll have to ask if that’s ok. No one’s ever asked to come with us before..”
My wife to me afterwards… “What is so weird about wanting to go on my kids school trips? Dont they want involved parents?”
That’s all I got. I don’t know how to end this blog post but it’s just frustrating. And this is a good school!
What do you all think?
Written byFrank Campagna
I’m a 48 year old neurotypical dad with a 14 year old son with severe, non-verbal autism & epilepsy. I created this blog to rant about autism & epilepsy while celebrating my son who I affectionately call “the king” :-).