Sunday, December 16, 2012

We're Doing Something Completely Mind-Blowingly Radical Tonight!

We're doing something completely mind-blowingly radical tonight! 

The wife and I are going to a family member's house for a pre-Christmas family get-together without Kyle!  This is gonna blow our family's minds!

First, a little back-story.  We had my extended family over for pizza last night.  We were 15 people altogether.  We usually host a Saturday night pizza night for my side of the family a week or two before Christmas.  And my aunt does something similar.  On a Sunday evening before Christmas she hosts a coffee & desert get-together at her house.  

So pretty much the same family members we saw last night at my house we would see tonight at my aunt's.  

And lately on Sunday evenings the wife & I have had some respite.  We have a great sitter / respite worker.  He is the older brother of one of Kyle's ASD friends.  He is 19 and he is awesome!  And Kyle loves him and is always so mellow when he is around.    Let's call him "Bill"

We currently get 6 hours of respite per week through our Medicaid Waiver.  I know I need to write another blog post about respite workers and medicaid waivers, etc, etc.  So save your questions about that.

But anyway... So we've had a nice routine for the past few Sundays.  We would get Bill around 5pm.  And the wife and I would sneak out to dinner & a movie...or we'd do a little shopping or whatever.

But tonight we thought we cancelled Bill because we were going to my Aunt's house for desert around 5:30pm with Kyle.

However, around noon today Bill texted the wife to say, "what time should I be there today?"

First we were like, "let's cancel him"

And then it dawned on us.  We could go to my aunt's house without him!  

ME:  "but is that wrong?"

WIFE:  "well where would Kyle have a better time?  home with Bill or at Aunt Linda's house where he goes once a year?"

ME:  "that's true...but it's gonna BLOW THEIR MINDS when we show up without him..."

And it is Sun 5:20pm and that is where we are headed.  We are headed to my aunt's house for desert & coffee...without Kyle.  And for some strange reason I'm more excited about this than getting out for dinner & a movie.

The wife and I both get to sit down at the table AT THE SAME TIME and enjoy our desert?  No taking turns & tag team parenting?  AWESOME!!  

Maybe I'll even have a few glasses of alcohol...just to celebrate!  :-)

Do I feel guilty?  Not really.  If it was somebody's birthday or actually Christmas dinner or a big occasion maybe I'd feel guilty... but this is the kind of occasion that a typical 9 year old probably wouldn't want to go to anyway.    

And right now Kyle is sitting on the couch next to Bill with a big smile on his face.  He is so happy to have Bill here.

So I go back to what the wife said.  "where would Kyle have a better time?"

So we are heading out...  but it is gonna blow our family's minds!

"Where is he??  With who?  But, huh?"

It should be an interesting evening


13 comments:

  1. good for you! Enjoy your time :)

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  2. Have fun Autism Daddy and Autism Mommy!

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  3. Please send Bill to my house!! Please :-)

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  4. LOVE it! Enjoy your time with extended family and may Kyle fully enjoy his time with Bill :)

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  5. ENJOY,ENJOY,ENJOY. It's not like you do this every week.

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  6. Wow...wish we could have done that when our son was younger, our son is now 18 and we do get out once in awhile because of our wonderful 19 year old daughter who can take care of him now...I am so glad that you have Bill...enjoy your all your Sundays especially tonight. :)

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  7. Yay for you and Autism Mommy! So happy for both of you!

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  8. It's so comforting to know your child is spending time with people who make them smile. If I were you, I would look into hiring "Bill" for additional hours for those weeks where you need more time to sneak off without Kyle or even bring him along to outings to help you out so everybody can enjoy themselves a little bit more.

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  9. Does Bill spend much time in Britain? Great blog post as always.

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  10. Awesome !! I wanted to ask how respite works and how do you know the person will have a clue. Bill sounds amazing ! You guys need time out and let some stress roll off !! :)

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  11. The only way my family will allow me over is that my child not come (broke a family member flat screen tv)and after that the invites stop coming plus the meltdowns and the fact that he is still in diapers don't help. Used to get help but after he attack 2 workers they can't get anyone to come back so guess what no help outside of school and they only do it because they have to,they don't won't to. Today my child said he would kill someone and believe me I got a call had to leave work pick him up and was told I need to get him help and they are not able to handle him. People are going to avoid us even more now.

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