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Now Reading: I'm A Big Worrywart & I Blame Google & My Runaway Mind

I'm A Big Worrywart & I Blame Google & My Runaway Mind

It’s Sunday 3:12pm and if you read my Facebook page regularly you’ll know that my son isn’t feeling well today.

Yesterday he had diarrhea all day, pretty loose & pretty often but besides that he was totally himself, happy as a lark. We tried to watch what he ate and forced him to drink a lot of water. He was fine. Went to bed at his normal bedtime and got up today happy.

Then this morning he threw up a little but other than that he seemed fine all morning. Drank some water, munched on a few cheerios. Then around 12:30pm or so he got a bit cranky/ ornery like he had a stomach ache and/or a headache and at 1pm he settled down for a nap.

And I’ve been a nervous nelly all morning and this little stomach bug is bugging me out a little.

Why?

Cuz 2 weeks ago at about this time he had his first seizure ever that sent us to the hospital for 3 days.

And tomorrow is 2 weeks that he’s on his anti-seizure med.

And so I’m watching him like a hawk and worrying.

It’s the curse of google. I’ve done a lot more googling of “seizures” and “epilepsy” than the wife.

—–

ME: “Is he feverish too? Feel his
back. I read that fevers can bring on seizures to kids who are prone to getting seizures.”

WIFE: “His back feels fine. Stop worrying.”

—-

MY INTERNAL THOUGHTS: “Why is he napping? He got really tired after the big seizures. Did he have one and I missed it?

“Did he just have a silent seizure? He just zoned out for a few seconds.”

“Is his new med causing the diarrhea & vomiting? Of course not. He’s been on it for 2 weeks and he’s been fine.”

“We’re supposed to go for blood work this week to check how the med is affecting his liver (among other things). Maybe the diarrhea & vomiting have to do with his liver? Should I google that?”

“Is he extra twitchy in his sleep during his nap? Is he having silent seizures in his sleep?”

Ugh I hate my runaway brain sometimes!! Then in my mind i start trying to talk myself off the ledge…talk some common sense into myself.

“My kid had seizures for literally one 24 hour period 2 weeks ago. He’s been fine ever since. He’s been GREAT ever since. He’s been AMAZING ever since.”

“The new med made him a little more tired & clumsy for the first week or so but even that was settling in.”

“So can’t my kid just get a stomach bug like any other kid? Isn’t that allowed?”

“and even if he is having silent seizures, so what? what are you gonna do? Are you gonna go to the ER for that? No your just gonna monitor it closely and maybe call or go to the doctor tomorrow. So stop freaking worrying!”

And now it’s 4:30pm. The king woke up from his nap around 3:45. Was totally fine and happy. Then puked again a lot. After he puked he was totally fine. Laughing and cuddly.

My son has a freaking stomach bug!! Simple as that!

Right?

Whew. Some days I hate the way my mind works.

I just said to the wife “what’s wrong with me? I dealt with the seizures and the ER and the 3 days in the hospital fine and I’m freaking out over a little poop & puke!”

I think ol’ Autism Daddy needs to go on some new meds myself. Maybe the stuff I’ve been on for almost 2 1/2 years is finally wearing off… 🙂


Written by

Frank Campagna

I’m a 48 year old neurotypical dad with a 14 year old son with severe, non-verbal autism & epilepsy. I created this blog to rant about autism & epilepsy while celebrating my son who I affectionately call “the king” :-).


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7 People Replies to “I'm A Big Worrywart & I Blame Google & My Runaway Mind”

  1. Anonymous

    Salute you daddy, for sharing your knowledge to all families, specially me, have many lessons learned based on different comments, thankful for i know a little in computer,not so understand sometimes of english,am a filipina mommy,i am very willing to understand some people shared here in your blog.
    More Power and May God Bless You!

    Mimie and Kristian :)))

  2. Of course you freak out over everything. He's your little man and nothing is gonna change that you care about every hair on his head.
    I really hope that it will become more "normal" as time goes on and won't consume you quite so much.
    He's a lucky little fella to be so well loved XXX

  3. jessica george

    I think it's the "we already got autism, so if it's going to happen to us, well we are not surprised! ugh!" syndrome.

    we have that here, and the only way I've coped it that my attitude over the years is that I've put our medical situations on a list and always compare the current issues to the past ones we have survived.

    kinda mental on my part if you ask me, but we are 14, and severe ( nonverbal and probably will grow up to move refrigerators for aliving ) autism.

    here are the list of things we have been through:

    1)seizure ONE time as a baby with a HIGH TEMPERATURE

    2)sleep apnea from birth till about 9 years old.

    3)removed tonsils because in a matter of 3 months the tonsils enlarged for no reason he couldn't keep any food down and kept throwing ALL meals up.( but in retrospect, know i know why he kept smooshing his frenchfries….swallowed easier)

    4) while removing tonsils, removed adnoids…..which eliminated his snoring AND HIS APNEA…….phew.

    5) after his 7 birthday, after 50+visits to the doctor, 4 rounds of antibiotics, it was discovered that he literally had "puss on his brain"…….gross right? one of the areas of puss even solidified. double gross. long story short, 1 1/2 months in the hospital. and at 14 today, he is healthy as a horse.

    6) did i mention the SEIZURE one week after the brain surgery which led up to 1 year of anti sezure meds and 3 stays in the hospital for sedated mri's and that test to measure brain activity?

    7) oh did i forget that sedated hearing hearing test at 1 1/2 years old because doctors thought he was deaf? this was before autism was considered….

    As we stand, right now my feeling is that "CAN ANYTHING BE WORSE THAN BRAIN SURGERY?"……..probably, but BRAIN SURGERY really puts the world into perspective…….

    hang in there autism daddy, don't forget that's why people invented hair dye, cause we give ourselves white hair worrying about EVERYTHING!!! 🙂

  4. Anonymous

    You are a wonderful ,caring,loving Dad. The road that we have to walk…is not what we signed up for. I wish there was a simple answer…there's not. We take it one day at a time and pray every step of the way.you are not alone….we all walk the same path…some of us are luckier than others but we all have something that gives us heart ache and worry. I pray you get through this and that we soon find something that helps our kids. Prayers to you and yours !!

    1. Anonymous

      AMEN! WHO the heck would want to walk in our shoes right? lmfao!

  5. Anonymous

    Everything you wrote is what any one of us would be worrying about. Remember, there are a lot of stomach bugs going around right now! I believe if it was a reaction to the meds it would have happened before this. And the key is he is doing fine between puking or pooping. And all that body stuff going on probably made him sleepy. Hope it all is completely better by tonight! I worry too much, and I blame computers, too! But i know I'd worry regardless! Blessings….Marji Laplante

  6. Have walked this path before. My son has Autism, Epilepsy and a alphabet soup of other things. I used to walk on egg shells every time he got a temp or icky tummy. It is a wild world they drag us into. Hope the bug is only a 24 hour thing and all will be well with your family very soon. Telling you it gets better probably won't help but we are 4 1/2 years down the epilepsy path and 5 1/2 down the Autism one. James only has major seizures in his sleep so we haven't seen one since the medical diagnosis. He gets blinking seizures for every growth spurt. We up the medication, with his neurologist permission, and they go away until the next spurt. Sometimes it is really difficult to simply let our kids be kids. I try but don't often succeed!