Tuesday, January 10, 2012

To My Family Who Read Autism Daddy -- Please Read This... :-)


I think more and more members of my personal circle (friends & family) are becoming Autism Daddy readers.  This was not my intent in the beginning.  Back in April when I started the FB Page and even in September when i started the blog I was doing my best to cover my tracks and keep it from my loved ones.  It's not because I was ashamed of anything I wrote, but because the stuff I was writing was becoming more & more personal and because I was using the FB Page and Blog as a place to vent and sometimes complain about them a wee little bit. 

If you go back and look thru the thousands of status updates on FB and the 50+ blog posts I can probably count on one hand, ok maybe two hands :-) the amount of times that I've REALLY complained about my family...

But with everything about the way FB works and the wide openness of the Internet, slowly but surely friends and family started to "discover" my Autism Daddy persona.  First a dozen or so, then someone would "like" it and that like would show up on their news feed and someone else would see it.  And pretty soon, there were close to 50 FB friends and family following Autism Daddy.

But for the ones who did follow it, it kinda felt like the elephant in the room when I would see them in person.  They now knew more about me than the probably ever wanted to, but
they would never bring up the Autism Daddy page and I never would either.

Anyway, after awhile having some FB savvy family & friends know about it and not others seemed strange to me.  It seemed more unfair.  So a few weeks back I just wrote on my personal FB Page something like "wondering why I've been so quiet on FB recently, well I have a secret identity with 3000+ followers..." and I included links to the FB Page and blog and left it at that.  I got a few nice comments and a few new official followers, but now I get the sneaking suspicion that there's more people from my life following than I even know...

And I didn't think it would feel this strange, but it does.  I feel really naked and open.  If you know me in real life, you know I am not the most confrontational guy in the world.  I can be kinda quiet and awkward around small groups of people.  So some would say it's out of character for me to write this page and blog and be so open.  But if you really know me, you know that this is right up my alley.  I've always been better in big groups than one on one.  If I'm in a big group with maybe 2-3 people I know in that group, well then I can be the life of the party!  But when I have to have an intimate personal conversation with one or two people, I clam up and get very awkward.  So, an anonymous page where I get to be funny and rant is right up my alley!  The fact that I'm revealing really personal intimate details of my life?  That part is surprising me too, but the anonymous part helped make it easier.

Anyway, so I think there's alot more family and personal friends reading this page and I think they are getting rubbed the wrong way by some of the stuff I've written.  And there's maybe one or two things I've written that I can see people getting their feathers maybe a little ruffled.  But if you read what I actually write, most of the times what I write is actually not that bad.  What makes it worse many times (in my opinion) is people's comments who misinterpret what I wrote and bring their own family baggage in and say "yeah my family is just like that, they do ___".  I'm not one of those bloggers who replies to every comment on my blog, but very often I'm sitting home saying, "THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT AT ALL!"

So let me take a step back and say that my wife and I have an AMAZING FAMILY!  They get Kyle and are totally and completely in our lives.  They understand the challenges that we are dealing with and they really try to bend over backwards to help out as much as they can which is ALOT.  They almost all live close by and we see them all the time.  Kyle has lots of young cousins and their patience and understanding of him and his ways rivals their parents (this was not meant as an insult :-).  The wife and I completed our wills last year (I'm writing another blog post about this) and we are completely at peace that because of our amazing family Kyle will be well taken care of.

And I know from reading many of your stories how lucky we are to have such a loving supportive family.  I get it.  They are all rock stars too!  So when I make the rare complaint about them, please chalk it up to old Autism Daddy & Mommy having a bad week and being more needy that your average autism mom & dad. 

All that being said, I don't want to change how I write this blog and what I write about.  When I feel something I love the idea of writing it down immediately and getting it out there.  I really feel like I've hit an un-tapped niche in this Autism experience, the old ranting, bitching, and complaining, hopefully in a humorous way. 

So, if you are a close friend or a family member who's reading this, first know that I love you very much, and my apologies if anything I've written has made you upset.  That was NEVER my intent.  But please understand how much I love writing this blog and page and how much it means to me.  It has slowly crept up on me and become a very important part of my life.  It is very cathartic for me and I don't want to give it up.  And from the feedback I get daily it really feels like I'm helping ALOT of people (3000 and counting) which is more than I ever expected to get out of this...

So, if you see me and want to talk about Autism Daddy, let's talk about it.   I'm sure the conversation will be awkward cuz that's how I am one on one, but I'd rather have an awkward conversation than have an elephant in the room....

THANKS!! 

facebook comments 1
facebook comments 2
facebook comments 3
_____________________________________


if you are going to leave an anonymous comment, please at least leave a name in your comment (even if it's a fake name).... this way i can respond to your comment and differentiate between one anonymous comment and the others.... thanks!

21 comments:

  1. Great post! Though I am sure, that your wonderful friends and family knew all of this already :)

    So happy to know that you will continue! Your voice, your story is needed.

    ~ Lisa

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well wrote, Autism Daddy and keep it up. We love your post and you do fill a need in our lives as well. Jan Rolland

    ReplyDelete
  3. OMG I can't believe you wrote this today. I am feeling this. My husband and I stared a blog and I feel the same way! Today!!! you should check us out at www.autismpirate.com. We also have a facebook page Autism Pirate. Love reading your posts!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have family members who "like" my facebook page as well and as much as I want to sit and blog, what I want to say sometimes will upset them. I have social anxiety that makes me have a hard time with conflict so I have avoided blogging as of yet...one day I will get the nerve, until then I love your blogs!

    ReplyDelete
  5. your blog is the BEST!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. (http://www.facebook.com/jmaskell2)

    Thank you - there is so much I want to say to you
    & FOR you with this post, but really
    - just truly & sincerely - THANK YOU!

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Great blog:) you have been so respectful I feel, and I'm sure your friends and family would want you to hae a place to vent and share with other families that are going they similar circumstances. You have changed many lives and helped many people and for that alone, your family and friends I'm sure, would be so proud of you!! Hell, I don't even know you, and I'm proud of what you're doing for the autism community and using what is obviously a 'gift', to help yourself by venting , but to change the quality of lives for other families.
    I think this is my longest comment to date; didn't mean to write a book! God for you for writing so honestly and purely. Keep it up!
    Kate Wells

    ReplyDelete
  8. I have gotten a lot of flack for what I say about my son and our little unit. I have often fantasized about making a navywife/ASD mom blog. But I cant. If anyone found out, ugh. Ive said to much rofl
    THanks for being real, and a role model.

    ReplyDelete
  9. one of the things i've always taken from your page is that you have an amazing family supporting the three of you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. It is hard to keep a Secret Identity lol! When I was younger, I used writing as a means of therapy. Often I would not realise what I was actually feeling until I had written it. I totally understand that writing your blog is your outlet. I really hope your familiy members can see it as an outlet and if they are not happy about reading all that stuff then they could stop following it. Keep it up - I love reading your posts in Australia! Shannon

    ReplyDelete
  11. Love your blog. Just reading how other people's stories are so similar to ours is really kinda therapeutic.... we're not alone... and other people's reactions to situations are not unlike ours. Hope the significant people in your life understand how important this is to us all and are supportive. Thank you for doing this. My wife and I love it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I love your blog and FB page! I personally have gotten more out of it than combing tons and tons of reading material! I have been following you for a while now and I appreciate your openness and honesty about your life. I never took anything you have said negatively. From what I've read it seems like your friends and family are very supportive of you all. Just because someone gripes about a particular situation doesn't mean it's bad all the time. It has to be challenging to write a blog/FB where people interject their own drama into your life. I love reading what you have to say every day! I hope you continue to write. Much love to you and your family! ~Angela Mitchell Atkinson

    ReplyDelete
  13. We have to have a release. I try not to edit for anyone...my family (I don't care what they think). It's my husband and his crazy family! I have to put them all out of my mind when I blog.

    ReplyDelete
  14. There are soooo many times I wish I had started my blog and not revealed my identity so that I could be more transparent in the things I write about. Unfortunately I didn't and so I can't. Or rather I COULD but then I'd have some pretty upset people..namely my boys' grandparents because they don't help out at all.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi HD,
    I understand how you feel. Sometimes the mouth opens to set the heart free without always engaging the brain (that last bit is only true in my life). My nephew is autistic and my son has ADHD (all grown up at 19), but each time I read one of your posts I am right back at the beginning of my experience with Jaco - ADHD is not Autism, but the mommy and daddy's are affected in much the same way. Don't stop writing and don't stop sharing - you are a very precious "resource", hope and encourangement to many of us. Thank you!! Rachelle Potgieter

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hi!

    I'm a 40 year old mom. My nephew has autism and my mother has dementia. I'm very interested in various methods of communication. Your stories always give me wisdom and help me in many ways. Thanks for all.

    *PS
    Kyle's big smile is so pure and beautiful. :)

    Terry

    ReplyDelete
  17. only about 8 people in the world knows that my son has autism...they are either the ones who do care or can help me and my son in this battle...rest of the world haven't got a clue..And why should they?? As long as they are of no help but an extra burden for us with their awkward looks,inappropriate sympathy,questions,comparisons and arousal of guilt... That would only slow us...My friends on and off face book think that we are the perfect family...I will only tell them when we win this battle against autism...

    ReplyDelete
  18. i have a blog as well, and do not hide my name. i do change the name of my son. i don't hold back. sometimes my husband has gotten upset with what i write and tells me that i shouldn't share so much. oh well, i feel what i feel.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Might you offer myself several assistance concerning Ergo child provider? I would like a single similar to this. You think can it be ALRIGHT to be able to buy?

    Several consumers employed the particular ERGObaby for youngsters when they received somewhat more substantial and also mentioned that ergo baby carrier produced some sort of regarding variation. It really is lauded since perfect for having your youngster although carrying out anything at all coming from family jobs to be able to using the particular tour bus to be able to looking into museums.

    A couple of reviewers identified in which whilst it is without question ergo baby extremely secure for the kids, at times their particular ergo baby carrier sale youngsters certainly are a tad not comfortable as a result of layout of experiencing the child going through an individual as opposed to out there. Several identified it absolutely was created regarding older folks, although some identified it absolutely was far better worthy of reduced people.

    Considering inside with lower than 3 weight, the particular ERGObaby provider is not going to increase needless volume and also fat for your requirements. In addition, it provides large thickness memory foam inside the band to make certain it will not result in needless tension. Another highlight is the identical memory foam inside the midsection belt regarding extra ease and comfort. Consumers identified the particular ERGObaby child provider extremely secure and also point out it gives you fantastic help. The particular lid can be usually mentioned being a fantastic characteristic. Several set this kind of upwards when their particular child comes in bed, or perhaps inside the temperature, and also point out they could wander all day and also n't have any concerns.

    Thank you quite definitely!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm just wishing there was a "report spam" button for the comments. This huge advertising post (which had nothing to do with autism) was obviously translated by less than adequate software, and I was hoping I would see some kind of mention of ADs post. Evidently they couldn't even be bothered doing that.

      Delete
  20. I appreciate your posts AD I have taken a lot of crap over the years for whining about autism its nice to know there are people who relate even if they have to protect themselves in anonymity. You are a brave man to let the cat out of the bag and keep on posting I hope to see many more posts from you.

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

© 2011-2018 Autism Daddy / Frank Campagna. All Rights Reserved