Monday, January 30, 2012

My Top 11 Benefits of Having a Kid w/ Classic Autism















(originally written & published on January 30, 2012)




As you all know I often rant & complain about my fickle mistress Autism and how she gets in the way of my son making any significant progress.  (yes Autism is a she :-) If you’ve been reading this blog for a while you’ll know that Autism and I don’t get along too well.   I don’t like her too much and she doesn’t like me too much.  Autism and I fight a lot and she wins a lot of those fights.  I win a few once in a while, like potty training.  But every once in a while we need to have a truce and evaluate things and try to look on the bright side so we don’t kill each other…  :-)

Hence today’s list…

My Top 11 Benefits of Having a Kid with Classic Non-Verbal Autism

BENEFIT #1  
I  GET GREAT PARKING SPACES…
I've written about this before but in case you STILL haven't heard, you can get a handicap parking placard if your kid has severe autism and has no sense of danger and is in danger of running  into traffic. For more info about this click HERE.
Anyway, with your handicap placard you great spots at movie theaters, supermarkets, amusement parks, Home Depot... as long as you have your kid with autism with you.  :)
Woo-hoo!  Yay autism!


BENEFIT #2
I GET TO CUT TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE AT AMUSEMENT PARKS…
Most amusement parks give kids with disabilities a pass or wrist band that lets you skip to the front of the line. We've successfully done it and Sesame Place and several Six Flags parks and I've heard amazing stories of asd families being treated extra special, like kings at Disney World and other Orlando parks.  At the parks we went to we were told to wait by the exit to the ride and alert an attendant and they would let us right on.  Did we get some dirty looks?  Yes.  Did I care?  No.  And some asd parents will say it’s important to teach our kids that they have to wait like everyone else.   I say, life is hard enough, take the perks when you get them…


BENEFIT #3
I APPRECIATE THE SIMPLE THINGS IN LIFE…
I doubt any of my friends with typical kids appreciate sleep as much as the wife and I do.  I also appreciate having a DVR full of my favorite shows ready for me & the Mrs when we finally get Kyle to sleep each night.  And we appreciate a night out more than most parents.  Even something as a good burger cooked medium well is a thing of beauty…


BENEFIT #4
WE’VE GOT A BUILT IN EXCUSE TO BE LATE…
Ok sometimes my son Kyle is the reason we are late to places due to any number of things (meltdown, feeding issues, etc)....but sometimes mommy and daddy are just spazzes and lose track of time.
And when we show up late somewhere, especially a family function, and folks will say "what happened?  Why so late?"  We will throw Kyle under the bus and whisper  "somebody had a rough morning..." and motion towards Kyle.  Everybody nods understandingly…  NUFF SAID...CASE CLOSED  :)














BENEFIT #5
I TAKE NOTHING FOR GRANTED…
I really try to notice & appreciate the littlest teeny tiniest milestones in my son’s life.  If you’ve read my Autism Daddy Facebook Page for a while you’ve read me revel in the fact that my son for the first time tracked the dog with his eyes while she ran around the backyard.  Or celebrated my son getting potty trained (for the 3rd time).  Or playing with the Ipad appropriately by himself for 30 minutes straight.  Or trying a new food with a different texture.  These are miniscule milestones in a typical parent’s life and in the grand scheme of things may be small milestones in Kyle’s life, but they are worth noticing & celebrating…


BENEFIT #6
WE GET SPECIAL PRIVILEGES AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE
When we are going to a new doctor who doesn’t know us and Kyle, the wife will call in advance and tell them about Kyle and how hard it is for him to wait a long time.  She will also ask that any forms we are supposed to fill out get emailed or faxed to us in advance so we are not in the waiting room trying to fill out forms.  When we get to the appointment, if both mom & dad are there one of us will wait in the waiting room while the other hangs with Kyle and will call the other when it’s our turn.  When the wife has gone solo she has checked in and if there is a wait she has asked the receptionist to call her cell phone when it’s Kyle’s turn and then they wait out in the minivan watching dvd’s…
(we only do this with “normal” doctors.  If it’s a doctor who sees lots of special needs kids, we will wait our turn and take our lumps…)


BENEFIT #7
SOME TRULY AMAZING PEOPLE ENTER YOUR LIFE
When you enter this autism world you meet the most AMAZING people.  Of course we’ve become good friends with a lot of the autism moms & dads in our lives, and yes they are amazing.  But even more amazing are the people who CHOOSE to work with our asd kids.  I didn’t CHOOSE to have a kid with autism.  It just happened and I’m dealing with it as best I can.  But the people that care for our son every day?  The teachers, therapists, aides… Most of them CHOSE to work with kids with Autism.  For most of them this is what they wanted to do with their lives.  And to me that BLOWS MY MIND.  I mean y’all know what our kids are like.  Most of these people should be up for SAINTHOOD!   And then I run into a few autism moms that change careers after their kid’s diagnosis to become autism teachers or social workers working with asd families.  To me they are the most AMAZING of all!  To have autism at home and then go to work and deal with more autism?  How?  God bless you! 


BENEFIT #8
I DON’T HAVE TO BUY THE LATEST TOY / VIDEO GAME…
My kid isn’t superficial.  He doesn’t whine that he doesn’t have the latest Wii system.  He doesn’t sit on Santa’s lap at Christmas time with a laundry list of things he has to have.  He is extremely happy with the same books & toys he’s had for years.  He rips / destroys his copy of ”Brown Bear, Brown Bear” and he gets a new one as a gift from an old friend.   His toddler cash register gets lost and his Grandma buys him a new one.   In fact, the wife will rotate old toys in & out of his room and he is thrilled when an old favorite is brought back into the mix.  (Toddler toys are still HUGE in my house.)












BENEFIT #9
I’VE BECOME A BETTER MAN…
I was 33 when my wife gave birth to Kyle but I feel like I’ve grown up and matured so much in these last 8 years.  I’ve learned more about autism then I ever thought possible.  I’ve learned more about the law then I ever thought possible.  I learned more about schools and districts and bureaucratic red tape then I ever thought possible.  I learned how to stand up & fight & advocate for myself and my kid.  I’ve done more adult/ responsible things that I never would’ve done (like completed my will).  I evaluated myself and realized that I needed some help to be a better father & husband.  All in all you could say that Autism help make me a better man…


BENEFIT #10
WE CAN CURSE LIKE SAILORS…
I’ve written this before.  The wife and I both have potty mouths.  We curse a lot and we have a very bawdy sense of humor.  And yes, we talk like that in front of Kyle sometimes.  He is non-verbal, but the wife and I would be thrilled if his first words were “Will you motherf&$kers shut the f&$k up?”


BENEFIT #11
I’M REACHING PEOPLE IN A WAY I NEVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE…
I would never have had a Facebook Page or written a blog if my son didn’t have autism.  And I know I’ve only been at this “writing” thing since April 2011, but I feel like I’ve gotten so much out of it.  I’ve learned a lot about myself.  I’ve gotten some great advice to help my son.  And from your feedback I’m feeling like I’m helping some of you…which is still MIND BLOWING.  I don’t know where this Facebooking and Blogging is heading in the future, but I’m sucked in and along for the ride.  Hook, line and sinker…


And I’ve got my fickle mistress Autism to thank for all of this…  That bitch!  :-)

THE END





-- If you're gonna shop Amazon anyway, can I ask that you enter Amazon by using the search box above or by going to http://www.amazon.com/?tag=a050ef-20  This way I can make a little money to help pay for my son's after school & weekend therapies.  This blogging thing has been awesome & life changing for me... but I must admit that it's taking up a lot more time than I ever thought... so if I can make a few bucks it'll make it easier for me to justify....Love you all! Thanks!!



74 comments:

  1. I have a 6 year old who has never asked "why", not even once.

    Compared to the other two, that's a BLESSING not a CURSE.

    Sure, I'd love to hear him ask a meaningful "why", but not the endless "why" question that goes on forever with no logical end.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I f&@$ing love this!! Haha...'autism is a she'! Ha. She is a moody son of a b*#ch:) lol
    Kate Wells

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think your right ,my Colby repeats me sometime,and can say son of a bitch real well ,and shit ,his parapro at school(that has a son with autism 20)told me that used the words the right way one day when told to put his things away he look at her and said shit shit shit ...I lmao and so did she. I want thank you for sharing these things with us.It helps me alot. your a great Dad...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi AD! 3kidsmom here. My 4 y/o is learning to talk, so imagine our joy when he picked up a piece of paper and said "what the hell?". My first thought was "cool, speech therapy is working"! I made sure to let the ST know of our progress, too. All success is celebrated!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love number 10...sounds so much like my daughter and son-in-law and as often as I used to tell her to watch her mouth I now hope for the day my grandson, Noah or Aiden, blurts out a sentence, even if it is, "Gramma, get the f$@@ outta here!" One my favorite things is that Noah is always so excited to see me and he still at 5 years old puts his arms out for me to pick him up and hold him and if I spend the night he is just as excited to see me the next day! Aiden will listen to me sing and then clap...nobody without autism would ever clap at my singing...lol.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I love number ten as well. One time during ABA therapy Nick grabbed a toy that did not work. He banged it against the wall three times saying "fuck! fuck! fuck!" We were ecstatic because he used words appropriately!! lol. We were also laughing our butts off :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. wow, AD, I am sitting here laughing my butt off once again....I do have a bad mouth but I've toned it way down the past year. I especially love #4 as that is pretty much our excuse for everything. but a large majority of the time it is the truth. she stalls and has meltdowns then yells later and gets mad at me when we don't get to where we were supposed to go....aaahh, life....
    #8? yeah...we just broke down and bought a Wii as she needs the movement :) but toddler toys are popular with her too. I just thought it was her. she had the entire line of little people toys by 3 and never touched them so we gave them away. now that she's 8, oh yeah, all the time at my mom's who has them for my niece.
    you help me tremendously in the fact that it helps to read others' struggles. so, thank you! and Kate is right.... she is VERY moody indeed, lol!

    ReplyDelete
  8. dear Autism dad, my name is Delfina, and I want to tell you that knowing that Autism is a she really makes sence... my son is about to be thirteen I can relate to all the things you wrote, the bitch (Autism) has taught me patience.... nothing like having a son that can barely speak, wears a men's 34 pant,that is bigger than u and has a mustashe I will definatly be friending you and will be here if you ever have any questions about the man child that will invade your home SOON...signing this anonymous because i am at work and the computer here sucks...

    ReplyDelete
  9. thanks for being so honest. i plan on sharing this with my hubby so that he can see that it is ok and life does go on. Rena

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank you and I too love number 10!
    My David said What the Hell! when a school bus that was backing up looked like it was going to run into our van at the time he had less than 25 words so I was very happy!

    ReplyDelete
  11. #2 was always my favorite. When we lived in So. California, we had an annual pass and, boy, did we love Disney's guest assistance pass. Hubby & I went once all by ourselves and just hated it because we had to stand in line. :o)

    I remember the first time Matt tried to lie to me. I called his kindergarten teacher (a wonderful teacher and speech therapist) and told her, I'm not sure whether to be upset he's lying to me, or excited he's learning another speech skill! LOL. Unfortunately, now he's 13 and can really pull the wool over my eyes sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thank you, just thank you...

    ReplyDelete
  13. I too have an 8 year old with autism. He is moderate to severe. Please oh please tell me how you got your son potty trained. My son is somewhat "pee" trained. But, never been able to get pooped trained.
    I have also made a lot of the same comments as you. The placard one, the pass at amusement parks, cursing and appreciating the little things.
    I am going to go to your Facebook page. That way I can give you my info if you could tell me about your potty training methods. TY.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well i seen your post and had to share my potty training succes story with you i have a 6yr olw with autism who is non verbal- moderate. and we had to set a kitchen timer every 30 mintues we took him to the bathroom if he goes he gets a reward we used m&m's it took us 4 months of that but he finally got it and he is now completely dry all day and all night hope this helps -Theboysmommy

      Delete
    2. when are you guys gointo realise tese kids dont '' have autisdm'' they ARE autistic they wouuld be totally diffrent peopew if they weere not autistic, i hope you guys will talk and listen to other autistics outthere, many of us type on our own, we use aac devices,we sign, ect ect. and most of usARE HAPPY, the tragdey is within you, not with us,we are different......... its not a bad thing to be autistic sure ithas its upsand downs guess what SO DOES LIFE !!! and bein '' normal'' has its own sets of big severe profound challenges ! its not any better or less, its just different embrace it and see how beautiful your kids real;ly are theyare unique, dont smother them with endless therapy,,, dont takew away from '' being a kid'' and dont tryto make them '' normal'' help them learn and grow in theere ownways and find what worksfor them...... and please expose your kids to other autistics wecan learn more from each other andrelate and communicate with eachother in ways the '' normies'' can never do and rember in human population, disabled or not.........80 to 85 percent of ALL communication is non verbal........... so quite stressing on making them talk.. how about signs and alternative talking styles, like aac devices and such........... and LISTEN TO THEM they all cancommunicate if you pay attention and listen we have our own language and ways and we all can think.. your kid sounds like a fun kid ;-) and he is pefect hes not broke or defective or hiddenaway... hes just a different kind of radio

      yuo normies are FM radios, we are AM radios, make sense? we work, wecommunicate we are fine...we are just different

      Delete
  14. love this :) thanks for sharing :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi,
    Love how you write about your son. My son Beer (Bear) is 10 and about the same as Kyle. Since he's 9 he uses a lot more speeche (PRT did the trick). Things are getting better! hang on :) I have a facebookpage where you can follow him if you like, https://www.facebook.com/pages/Beer/283294051734101?sk=wall
    By taking photo's of him, you forget the nasty autism and see him for who he is, the best parent therapy!

    ReplyDelete
  16. This blog is awesome! My son said "Sh*t" and he used it at just the right time, we were so glad that he understood how to use a word properly that we couldn't be mad at him!

    ReplyDelete
  17. This was great! I added a link to it below my post. Great minds think alike?
    http://flappinessis.com/2012/02/08/membership-rewards-10-perks-to-having-a-child-with-autism/

    ReplyDelete
  18. Both my sons grandparents have passed away in his lifetime and we never had to explain death!! My #1 happiness!!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. #5, #7, #9 and #10 are my favorites. Love this post. You are great parents!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I've TWO toddler daughters on the spectrum and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that they're not superficial about toys and gifts. For 2 Christmases in a row (money is tight, hubby is laid off) I both got their toys at a kids 2nd hand store and also rotated out some stuff with other stuff I had "stored" in the garage. The girls were ecstatic! I still rotate the toys out and in and they love that too. I'm also loving that they aren't picky about clothes as we get lots of them 2nd hand as well. Both ours are non-verbal as well and we have potty mouths too. Some things autism has "given" us ARE a blessing!! Thanks for sharing...Jenna

    ReplyDelete
  21. My son is starting to use language effectively and I can tell you his speech therapist and i were very proud of him when he told me to fuck off when I told him fingerpainting time was all done!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I am one of those Autism moms who changed careers to work with ASD kids... It's a multi-step process but it has been so worth it knowing the difference I will make to the children having that first hand knowledge and the relief I will get from parents when they realize I know exactly what they are talking about. The connections will be monumental!

    Thank you for sharing this list. I agree with you all the way! We have to remind ourselves of those positives at times to keep our sanity!

    ReplyDelete
  23. OMG - I haven't laughed this hard since a hearing officer went on record at our impartial hearing the other day and said my son needed a residential placement. (Been fighting the NYC DOE for 9 loooooooong months and my kids been outta school for that long....that's a blog in itself, just don't know how to do it).

    ANYWAY!!!! This is just AWESOME!!!!! You sound like a male version of me lol and thanks for KEEPING IT REAL!!!! This sh*t is NOT a joke and until you LIVE it - one could really never understand.

    And I gotta warn ya....the potty mouth you and your wife have. My husband and I do too. We have 6 kids - Khalil is the one who has moderate Autism (started out PDD like Kyle too) and moderate retardation and severe OCD. He's 16 - and he's 6'1", 285 lbs. BOOOOOYYYYY did he soak up some words! Lmao....when he gets mad, he'll tell you "shut the f*ck up" in a NY minute!

    I'll never forget the 1st (& lucky for him the ONLY) time he called me a "bitch". Lucky for him I was 15 stairs away and he was on the bus by the time it registered in my head lmao.

    I'm so glad I found this site! Keep up the GREAT work and looking forward to future posts!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I have a nearly 4 year old non-verbal autistic (superhero) son and I had a chuckle at #8. I have a group of friends with children the same age as Ry and they're all in a furor over what their children are asking for for their fourth birthdays: how will we afford such and such? where on earth can I find such and such?

    We, on the other hand, are replacing Ry's favorite musical book that he broke through over-loving. It will cost us $15. We won't wrap it since wrapping paper stresses him out and he will LOVE it.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Yes...I admit we cuss around my Angel way to much...and the S word being my favorite to say...I have heard Angel say it on more than one occasion...the summer school lady was like...well at least she said something...lol

    ReplyDelete
  26. We try our best not to cuss around our 2 1/2 year old son with classic autism. He has echolalia and only speaks in phrases he's heard others say or heard from TV. The only phrase he has EVER said on his own was one day when Thomas & Friends came on and he looked up at the TV and excitedly said "Look! It's a damn choo-choo!" Not only was it hilarious but I was so excited that he had spoken a spontaneous phrase! His grandparents thought it was less than funny. Oh well. Some things people are just incapable of understanding unless they have a kid with autism. ~Tracie~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One of our son's earliest phases was "oh s**t, it's the bus".

      Delete
  27. Are you kidding me really you use it to get better parking space because you as parents can't control your child WOW !!!, to cut lines while other ppl with their children who have to wait and you don't care but yet you want your child treated like every other child really. It seem some want it both ways be treated equal but yet you want special treatment. This is why ppl avoid families @ all cost with a special needs you expect all to act as if this is their issue and it's not.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You obviously don't know any children with Autism, I have 2 younger cousins with it. You can't say the parent can't control their child, sometimes the child might not like the situation they are in, it might be strange to them so they might not deal with it well. Its harder for an Autistic child to wait in line for something, sometimes they don't understand why why have to wait, and they can get very distressed. Sometimes people avoid families with disabilities because they don't understand what the child has, its not familiar to them. Instead of giving out I think you should read up on Autism so you might under it better, and stop criticizing people with Autistic children... Chloe

      Delete
    2. You sir, should not judge,.. especially since you have no idea what a life is like with an autistic child, that cannot help they don't understand long lines, or waiting...and they deserve any break they can get. Be thankful you don't have the problem we do, but try to be more understanding of what you have not experienced.

      Delete
    3. you are an ass

      Delete
    4. I bet you're theSAME asshole that stares when our children has a meltdown, and then tell us we need to learn how to parent, right?

      I dare you to spend 24 hours in our shoes. Suckers like you won't make it 24 minutes!

      Delete
    5. Staaayyy off this site! Can't you understand that this is NOTHING to do with parenting? Either use empathy and learn the truth about autism or stay away. I know nobody with autism but following this blog has taught me so much and the honest frankness of it is worth more to me than any scientist telling me the facts.

      Delete
    6. I dont have any kids with autism but I work with them everyday and I see how hard it can be and most of the time the meltdowns are whorse at home these parents sacrifice so much more than a parent that doesnt have kids with autism so why shouldnt they benifit from it?? I can go to a store with my 6 year old and park in the back of the parking lot and my daughter knows to hold my hand and not run off because it is dangerous a child with autism does not understand that they dont understand why they need to wait in line so instead of judging why dont you do some research and educaute yourself and maybe try to put yourself in that parents shoes and try to understand what they are going through

      Delete
  28. Yo Ass.....Hes not KIDDING you, why don't you learn a thing or two before you open your mouth....here's one for ya, the kid has NO CLUE that the traffic is an accident waiting to happen!! Got that one, NO CLUE, so yea he has a MENTAL Handicap!!! cut lines you say? Ohhhh, no thats cool, we will stand right there NEXT TO YOU ;-)...while our kid has a meltdown, and not the kind of meltdown your perfect kid would have....NOOO, this would be a NEUROLOGICAL condition that affects the child and they cant understand why they have to wait....much less KEEP STILL!!! You clearly are not AWARE like the magnets state! I would Revel in the chance to satnd next toy YOU... On a final note you simple ass, we do NOT EXPECT anyone to act as if its their issue, are you kidding me...WOW....We already know it's OUR issue and we deal with it the best way we can, good luck to you and yours, you'll need it!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Coleen "Wesley & Macy's Momma"November 9, 2012 at 4:37 PM

    Until recently, it was a curse and a blessing to go to the store with my 4 yr old autistic son, he NEVER asked for the latest toy or game system, never asked for anything, I thought just once I'd like for him to want something, anything...I'd buy it no matter the cost...well guess what, he has newly found the candy at the checkout aisle!!! So yeah it's m&ms every time we check out now!!! Haha, hey it's a start right!!!

    ReplyDelete
  30. im a 27 years old single mom with a almost 2 year old autistic son.living on my own as well.having a recent diagnosis of only a couple months, i read ur blog n ur fb and i cry and laugh at the same time cuz its like im reading my own mind. ur a great dad and thats one lucky kid . god bless ur family.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I love you're blog! I'm an OT & at times I feel therapist's are in the therapist mode & forget about the day to day life as a parent. You have given me insight & it has made me a more compassionate understanding therapist & I no longer throw the parent under the bus for not doing what I think they should be doing on a daily basis. Thank you & I wish you & you're family a very Merry Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
  32. As someone who has chosen to work with children with special needs it my autistic children that inspire me the most. I left my career in the production end of high end television commercials after my son was born and have never looked back (ok...bit of a lie cause I have looked back at the $$...or lack there of!) every day I am inspired by these kids (14-22) with autism and how they navigate through life. I love reading your insight of having a child with severe autism and how you manage and sometime don't. That seems to be the nature of loving kids who exist in a world so different from ours...give and push. Learn to listen with ones soul...rather than the words we are used to hearing. There is a quiet brilliance within each individual who lives with autism and Kyle is very lucky to have parents who care enough to be patient and loving, allowing him to speak in his own time and own way!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Fabulous I don't love # 1

    ReplyDelete
  34. All that stuff is true I don't have a child with autism but I know how it is I am part of the early autism project in south Carolina I'm a therapist to two autistic children and I love it couldn't ask for a better job

    ReplyDelete
  35. Really you can get a h/cap parking sticker because you can't handle your children,you move to the front of lines @ theme parks but yet you cry except and treat our children like every other child but yet you use asd to get special treatment. Some parents double talk. One day someone is going to be very honest with parents someone you can't sue and bully for being honest. Like blaming the school's and staff for everything or mad because daycare center's are not able to deal with some behaviors or don't call to change a school age child diaper it amaze staff how you expect people to use their income to go get train to handle your child. Why don't you offer to pay for staff to go get train ?? or demanding a 1 on 1 for your child @ the cost to who ?? you don't offer to pay you just demand because it's free and charge to tax payer's.For the record some student's cry @ school because demands and rules are expected to be follow and they are not baby no sitting on laps or hugs and for those parents who cry abuse your child is left alone,they can do what ever they want it just amaze staff that if you are so concern why do you send them back ??but one thing staff know for sure the iep is only good till 3pm Mon-Fri and know matter how you bitch this is your life not staff,family or friends so why act like you are owe something because of your issuse with your child.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Really!!! How educated are you on this matter. I have a child with a dual dx and no I don't have a handicap parking sticker or move to the front of the line at an amusement park. But, I can understand why it is necessary!!1 My son is at the age where I can control him before he runs into the parking lot. It is not that he wants to, it is not for lack of trying to teach him how dangerous this is, it is because he can not comprehend the consequences. And yes, when my family flew to Jamaica for a family reunion. You bet your behind, I used whatever services there where available to me to make this trip easier for my son. Do you want to know why? Because there is nothing in the world I would not do to help my son manage in this crazy world he is living in. I was able to have priority seating next to the bathroom and get my son seated and settled so that he wouldn't annoy "typical" passsengers.

      And as for your comment about IEP's and teachers, again Really? I have several family members and friends that work as teachers for Special Needs. Most educators understand how hard it is to raise the child and realize that the majority of parents are putting in the work to help their child. I know I do. I live, breathe and eat it 24/7. I wake up in the middle of the night like most parents worrying if I did everything that I can do to have my son get better. So excuse my language when I say "F you". Yes, this is the life that I want to my child to have. To struggle at the simplest task, (using a spoon, pullling up his pants, pointing to what he needs or wants) Yes, please do sign me up for this because I want to get free services to park closer to the store or get in the front of the line at an amusement park. Yes, please sign me up that my son has to work 3x's as hard to do a task as "typical" child can do. No, I am not asking for any handouts and guess what, Genius? I believe I pay the same or more amount of taxes you do for the same services.

      And another thing, I routinely have been asked to speak at colleges and universities to share my experienc about raising my son to future educators. Each and every time, I am thanked and asked to come back. So, again I say "F You"

      Nichole D. Brown

      Delete
  36. Wow Nichole never said one foul word to you but of course you have that right to insult people because of the issuse with your child,but yet you don't want people to talk to your child like this. Really !!! Look you should love and do all you can for YOUR child like any parent should and most do key words you & your not everybody else's so the next time a child come into a person personal space should that person respond with "F" you and your child.The problem with some parents is you can't please them don't them this or that,don't say this or that but yet people want talk to us. No one know my child like me (true) but do call people stupid (educators,Drs,etc..)all while asking for help but not believing anyone. So why ask for help ? family don't understand but should offer more help. Why ? People should not look @ a child having a meltdown in a public place or act like you don't hear a child yelling doing dinner out and this should be excepted as the norm in everyone life ? no !! this is your life not socitey's. I wish any child the best but feel it's the parents job and cost to do it. If my child had needed a 1 on 1 I would have been expected to pay for it,if my child had went to summer school I would have been expected to pay for it and drop her off and pick her up and my taxs don't cover the cost. And I feel it's sick to expect a educators to change a school age child diaper in a public school who went to college to do that ? and outside of a mental ward who want to go to work to be hit,bit,kick,out-right attack but don't defend yourself because they could be sued if they leave a mark. The fact is your child,your issues,you are not doing any more then any true parent(s) do for their children. Don't fool yourself I bet any educator etc.. that walk in and fine out they are not getting pay to do their JOB and see who stay around to fight.

    ReplyDelete
  37. You hide behind anonomity and write about things you know nothing about. For the record, I pay for my child services- they are called taxes. If my child needs more assistance than that I pay for after school programs and receive no additional monies or support from the school. I pay outpatient therapies as well as a lot of parents to assist with having children with special needs. Believe it or not, most middle -income families do not qualify for additional services.

    As I wrote earlier, I attend colleges and universities and talk to future educators about my experiences with my child. They are fully aware of what is involved in their jobs. It is a topic that is discussed throughout the Special Education Curriculum. They do have to student teach before graduating in this field so again they are fully aware of the job they are going to school to get a degree in. So you say, don't fool myself that an educator would walk out. Most educators have been in the field for 10 plus years and there has been an increase of educators earning a degree in Special Needs. So if they are not fully educated about the job why would they stay for so many years? Why is there such an increase in enrollment in colleges to work in this field?

    Also, I do not treat my son differently than any child regardless of his disability. I hold him responsible for his actions. He is disciplined like any other child and I have high expectations of him. You basically compared my child with someone in a mental ward. My child is able to sign and his able to follow the curriculum in his classes. My son is toilet-trained. He was toilet-trained before he went to public school. I never once said asked for you to deal with my issues. You came on a blog where people with the same issues are looking for support and spew your views. No one asked you to degrade the trials and tribulations that people live with on daily basis or to step into this world. You voluntarily walked into this. This could be compared to someone walking into your home and critizing the way you chose to live or raise your family.

    And as for my use of foul language, I apologize.

    Nichole D. Brown

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nichole if you only knew !! it's not degrading it being honest something people can't be because some parents like to use the sued card so parents are told what they want and need to hear so that they are not insulted.Your child is potty train good for you but there are many that are not and I promise you that not one staff want to change someone else child body waste how many times have I heard staff say if a parent have not potty train their child they should not be in a gen.ed building. It's not spewing hate it's being honest the way I read how some on some blogs insult people because they don't except everything on something they don't know about or understand not many families did till this touch their home and their heart so why expect the public to just know how to deal with this. I'm not telling anyone how to raise their kids just saying don't expect others to enjoy your fight or that they should have to deal with your fight in life and it's not because they have asd it's because I don't have to and don't want to be judge and call names because I don't want to. Yes the children have a safe haven @ home and in school but in public not many want to be attack or their own children attack asd or not. The world is not going to mold to fit their needs such as their behaviors. I seen a child run in the street after being release to their parent not one staff would help her fear of being sued incase she did not like how they handle the child. People can't be honest with most parents so some staff can't speak for all just want touch the child feel in the long run the parent(s) will suffer for this is THEIR child,their life for staff and others get to walk away rather you agree or not with their advice.I stay anonymous for fear of being sued.

      Delete
    2. Dear "fear of being sued",

      Clearly, you have limited education as evidenced by your posts. So I will attempt to put this in the simplest of layman's terms. The only expectation I have as a parent of an Autistic child is that he be treated as a human being. This is no different than any other parent. If a non - autistic child were to have an accident at school (which does happen), would you expect that child to stay in his/her wet/soiled clothes? Would you expect a diabetic child to be home schooled because, to use your rationale, it's not the school's duty to administer insulin? Do you think the non - English child need not show up because, once again to use your logic, the school system should not have to offer English as Second Language (ESL)? No, the founding principle of public school is access for ALL children. Modifications and services (which are somewhat limited) are paid through our tax dollars. Above and beyond, many of us parents pay for additional outside services and therapies. I work two jobs (RN MSN and adjunct college faculty) to support my family, and I've paid in over $20,000 of taxes this year alone. I would venture to say this is slightly more than the national average. So I wholly believe my child is entitled to some of those tax dollars....you on the other hand are clearly jaded, and seriously need to quit your school aide job (as I presume you are). It's not your "honesty" that us going to get you sued, but rather your mouth that will get your arse kicked.

      Michelle









      Delete
  38. My son is 20 and has severe autism. I can't recall exactly what was going on at the time but my son said F**K you and I posted all proud on FB. I was unfriended by a few people. Got to live the life to understand!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This made me laugh. It reminds me of the phone call from the case manager: "We think C said the s word." My response: "Wait, she said something?" Like you said, got to live the life to understand.

      Delete
  39. NOTHING,NOTHING,NOTHING I would give it all up in a heart beat to have a 14 yr old that didn't have to wear diapers,that don't hit,kick,bite and spit on me and others.
    I wish I could be honest without being judge as a bad parent who don't enjoy asd like so many do and say how can I expect others to except my child when most days I have a hard time excepting my own child.

    ReplyDelete
  40. The fickle mistress autism has taught us that we would have never met some of the most precious, Godly people that love us unconditionally, made way for us to have a night out, offering a "special place" for our grandson to go during church, while we go worship. I have seen our grandson, stumble through trying to put a sentence together, and yet able to sing every verse of "It is well with my soul"..maybe that is because I prayed while he was in his mommy's womb, that he would be born with a desire to love God and love the things of God. My grandson does not do a lot of thing, I wish he could do, but he teaches me something everyday. Would we have chose this? NO WAY.. but for some reason God chose us. Because I believe Romans 8:28.. all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose>" I have peace because I have the confidence that one Day my grandson will be well... this is only our temporary home. God Bless you, Kyle and your wife.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I totally agree with your post. We have 2 children with disabilities and sometimes the perks are very helpful!

    ReplyDelete
  42. yup, my son said "my teacher is being a bitch"--I thought well he is using it properly...brillant!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Heartwarming, comforting and hilarious as always :)

    ReplyDelete
  44. Love #7 and #10. My husband and I are #10 and in the last year our son started become verbal.....first room stopping phrase..Holy S**T!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  45. These "Benefits" brought a smile to my face..

    ReplyDelete
  46. Thanks a lot. Somehow your blog lessens the burden that I have. I am Edlynne from the Philippines. My son, Dwyght, was diagnosed with ASD when he was four years old. Reading your blog is helping me in a lot of ways. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  47. Love your sensibilities! Mom of non verbal spectrum disorder 4 yro it's so nice to read a parent who gets it! And thanks for the recommendation to crazyautism momma ? Hysterical look forward to reading more of you both! Happy holidays

    ReplyDelete
  48. What a great post - I have a child on the spectrum and I LOVE your benefit #8. I can't tell you how many times I have blessed the fact that I didn't have to fight in line at Christmas for the latest 'hot' toy that then sits in a closet after being played with for less than 5 minutes - now if I could just get the box my kids would be thrilled.

    I would also like to mention a great website for families impacted by autism, www.asd-dr.com is designed to help families find the treatments, therapists and services they need in the local area. It also has a lot of links to online support through links to organizations, forums and other references.

    ReplyDelete
  49. google it man auies andaspies some moreverbal then othrs, are saying, weare not broken, and also we are autistic, just like you are a female or you are gay, you are italian... you wouuldnt say a person with feminism, or a peson who lives with homosexuality, or a person with italianism.......... if we were not autitistic wed be completky differ people with different personalities abilities, limits needs, and so on,

    ReplyDelete
  50. Thank you for your posts. I have a 9 year old non-verbal daughter. She wanders and very impulsive and will run away from me. A lot of times when we go out shopping I need to have one hand always holding hers and the other holding bags or pushing the shopping cart, etc..I got my disability parking pass with the help of your tips. I never thought it was possible and I thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Reason #12 ~ people believe you. My son is "normal enough " people argue that hes just "different " and doesnt need help. Like when he was two and had never babbled, they argued that was normal, and would talk soon. I fought for services and now that hes 5 and has problems im glad I fought. Or people don't believe the crazy things he does because he seems "normal ". Never mind the spit plastered to the car window, just ignore the child safety locks on the door, and the 5 point harness....lets not talk about the saw he took to the hood of my car.... sigh. Im grateful for the advances he makes but it does suck to consently argue his bad points.

    ReplyDelete
  52. I love your blogs. They always make me smile or laugh after a tough day. Keep up the good work!

    ReplyDelete
  53. Lisa in St. LouisJuly 24, 2014 at 2:53 PM

    Thank you Autism Daddy for sharing with us! Every thing you have mentioned is absolutely true and a lot pertains to ASD individuals despite what place they are on the spectrum. I feel like my son made me and my husband much better people and taught us what character really is in the people around us and how they react to our son.

    ReplyDelete
  54. You know I have a daughter with autism, am a special needs teacher and currently doing a Masters in Autism ha ha. Not a hero just a little crazy I expect. But you know I'll be doubled over with little Miss Autistic pulling my hair with both hands, desperately trying to remember my professional training on how to get out of hair pulls thinking of all that post grad study I've done and how autism still shoots and scores on a regular basis. I am in awe of the parents who wrestle with autism WITHOUT having done a thesis on it. I must say though my every-waking-minute-with-autism is one heck of an adventure

    ReplyDelete
  55. our son is 9 y/o. we wish he would stop cussing all the time

    ReplyDelete
  56. Never have to worry about my son abusing drugs or getting into trouble with riff-raff!

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

© 2011-2018 Autism Daddy / Frank Campagna. All Rights Reserved