(originally written & published on January 26, 2012)
So my son has severe classic non-verbal autism. And because of that my parenting style is probably totally different than if I had a neurotypical kid. (but who knows cuz I don't).
Anyway, it got be thinking about all the things that I allow my son to do that most NT parents usually tell their kids not to do. Some of these I encourage my son to do because it's a typical thing that kids do. Some of these I let my son do because I pick & choose my battles. And some I let him do due to the limitations from his disability...
So here they are... no particular order...
1) EATING WITH YOUR HANDS
This is a combination of picking and choosing my battles and adjusting my expectations due to Kyle's fine motor issues & major eating issues. When your kid doesn't eat very well to begin with as long as he's getting it down I don't care that he uses his hands. This might change in the future, but for now this is a battle not worth fighting.
2) RUNNING IN THE HALLWAY
I always see parents or teachers tell their kids to stop running in the hallway and I think why? :-) But seriously the school where Kyle gets his music therapy on Saturdays has a big wide long hallway to his classroom that's PERFECT for a fast run. So while all the other parents are telling their kids to wait, not run, I'm dragging Kyle by the hand saying "let's run, let's run!" I'd just love to see him run somewhere with a sense of purpose instead of his usual meandering around. Plus I like to run. I run marathons (very slowly) and would LOVE to somehow get Kyle involved in the running community.
3) SPLASHING IN THE TUB OR POOL
It's a right of passage for kids to splash around in the tub. So what if water gets ALL OVER the floor! That's what towels are for. And the pool?! That's what pools were meant for... Splashing! Why are all the NT parents discouraging splashing? What am I missing? Did I miss the memo? :-) I'm the one dad in the pool who's splashing water in my son's face. I must look like a big jerk...
4) EATING BREAKFAST FOR DINNER ...OR POPCORN FOR BREAKFAST OR... SPOONFULS OF JELLY FOR LUNCH
Again my kid's got major eating issues and lost weight a year back so when he's hungry he gets what he wants and that's it. Other ASD parents know what I'm talking about. There's another autism blog called Grape Jelly On Pizza. She knows what I'm talking about. I'll give my kid a multivitamin to make up for the lack of nutrition.
5) GETTING DIRTY IN THE PLAYGROUND
Every time I take Kyle to the playground I overhear at least one parent say "your getting your pants all dirty!" WTF? This is what playgrounds are for! Getting dirty!
6) WATCHING TV DURING MEALS
Not every meal... but again you gotta pick and choose your battles. If having a show on will get him to eat more then I'm putting a show on.
7) DRINKING COFFEE
What can I say? My kid LOVES coffee! Is it good for him? Probably not. Is it gonna irreparably harm him? Probably not. So when daddy is drinking a cup in Kyle's vicinity he's most likely getting half. And if I can use coffee as a reinforcer to get him to eat other things, then that much better. I love coffee...
8) NOT EATING AT THE TABLE
We try to get Mr. Kyle to at least eat dinner at the table, but breakfast is a walking around and grazing meal...
9) JUMPING IN PUDDLES
Back at the playground I hear NT parents yelling "don't jump in that puddle!" Meanwhile I'm on the other end of the playground trying to TEACH my kid how to jump in a puddle. Jumping in puddles is a right of passage, a part of growing up...
10) TALKING TOO MUCH OR TOO LOUDLY
My kid is completely non-verbal so if and when he decides to start talking he can talk whenever, where ever, and as loud and as long as he wants to... :-)
Those are my 10, I would love to hear yours?? :-)
UPDATED 1/27/12 11:06AM
Based on your comments & feedback I thought of two more!
11) SITTING IN THE CART AT THE SUPERMARKET/STORE